Page 78 of Resistance Training
“Okay…”
“And I would like you to assign another trainer for my one-on-one sessions here. Whoever you’re most comfortable with.”
“Okay… That would be Gwen. She’s actually free right now.”
“Great.”
“Good. So, do you want to come by my place later tonight?”
She looks down and sighs.
I don’t like that.
“You still haven’t read my emails, I take it?”
“No.”
She shakes her head. “Bradley…Mitch…what’s the worst that could happen if you forgive me?”
“That is not an appropriate topic of discussion while I’m at work.”
“Right. Okay. Look, I’m not going to go by your place later tonight.” She fiddles with the zipper on her shoulder bag, and it reminds me of her unzipping my jeans yesterday, and I can’t focus and this is bad.
Did she just say she’snotgoing to my place? “Huh?”
“This has been really fun and…stimulating, but I’m tired of pretending.”
“Pretending what?”
She won’t look at me. She shrugs, as if she isn’t saying things that are totally devastating to both of us.
“That it doesn’t hurt.” She’s tearing up and her voice quivers, and it hurts my heart. “I know I hurt you, and I know you’ve built this new life around the anger you have about the way people treated you in high school. I get it. I don’t want to disrupt your life in a bad way. But at this point it’s justyouhurting yourself and blaming me for making you feel things. I say this as your former best friend—you’re gonna have to feel the feelings.”
She takes a deep breath and finally looks up at me. “You have to. And I don’t want to see you outside of the gym until you’re ready to do that. I don’t want to have to keep missing you when you’re right in front of me…or on top of me or under me or behind me, depending on…you know what I mean.”
“Yeah.” I place the manila envelopes in a locked drawer and tap on the desktop. “Lemme go talk to Gwen. You can wait for her in the private room.”
She sniffs and dabs at the corners of her eyes with her finger. “Are you okay?”
“Yep.” I do the only thing I can think of doing right now. I hold out my hand to shake hers. “Good luck with the rest of your training. Keep up the good work.”
She blows out a laugh and takes my hand.
It takes all my strength not to pull her in and kiss her.
“Thanks. Same to you.”
I go talk to Gwen, fill her in on what we did in the first three sessions, and I don’t even watch her walk into the back room because I don’t want to risk seeing Vivian in there if I can’t go in myself.
This was not my intention for the day.
But I will make the necessary mental adjustments.
I find myself wandering back over to the leg-press machine, where Larry is working on his quads. “Keep your back flat against the seat pad,” I mutter.
He glances over at me, exhaling as he pushes the platform away. Pausing at the top of the movement, he says, “Yeesh.” As he returns the footplate to the starting position, he says, “What happened in there?”
“Nothing.”
