Page 57 of Resistance Training
Vivian waves him away without even turning around. Suddenly her other hand is under my shirt, flat against my abs. “I’m gonna reach under your hard shell and touch that sad little underbelly that hurts— Holy shit, your abs are amazing!”
I remove her hand from under my shirt. “Don’t touch the abs.”
“Boooo!”
“Mitch! You’re here! Time to go, hun!” I turn to find Cindy, who’s holding up Vivian’s jacket. “We had such a good time with you, doll, but Mitch has to take you home now. Your phone and wallet are in your jacket.”
“Ugh! Fine!” Cindy helps Vivian put on her denim jacket while telling her something that I guess I’m not supposed to hear. Meanwhile I get a better look at her outfit.
Miniskirt and black tights and boots and a red top that hugs her curves so tight I can’t think straight.
The fuck was she thinking, coming to a bar dressed like that?
As soon as Vivian manages to get her hands through the sleeves of her jacket, I grab one of her hands and pull her to the door, saluting Cindy and Mabel and Dolores.
“Good night! I love all of you!” Vivian calls out, her other hand raised. “Had me a bla-aast!”
I don’t slow down until we’re out the door and on the sidewalk. Then I let go of her hand, expecting her to latch on tighter. Surprisingly, she lets her arm drop and then skips ahead while singing “Doobie dow doobie doo doobie doobie doobie dow!”
“Hey, get back here.”
“Why?” She spins around and sings. “You wanna get friendly holdin’ my haaaaand?!”
“I don’t want you to fall on your face. My car’s parked around the corner.”
“Because you like my face so much?” She crosses her eyes and sticks her tongue out to the side—which is something I taught her to do one summer.
“Because you’re drunk.”
“I’m really not. I’m just tipsy.”
“You can’t stand or walk straight.”
She stops in her tracks. “I am standing straight right now. Look at me.” She does indeed stand straight. Until she starts swaying. “Whoa. I don’t like that.”
“Come on. Let’s get you home.”
“Ohhhh, yes!” She stomps past me, wagging her finger. “Let’s be a grumpy grumperson and order me around!”
I catch up to her and walk on the street side. “Try walking like a normal person.”
“Like zis, you mean, monsieur?” She sways her hips and swings her arms from side to side.
She starts to cross the street, but I grab her arm and pull her back to the sidewalk. “This way.” I pull her to the left.
She blows raspberries at me. “Wait, why are you here, even?”
“Cindy told me to come pick you up.”
“Ohhhhhhhhh! And you came because you were jealous!” She leans into me, wrapping her arms around me. “Poor widdle Bwadwee.”
“I wasn’t.” I remove her arms from around me and open the passenger door to my SUV. “Get in.”
“That’s whatshesaid!”
“Vivian, I don’t have time for this.”
“Oh!” She holds up her hands in front of her chest. “What are you gonna do, ghost me again?!”
