I give his bicep a playful shove. And then I place my hand on his arm. Playfully. Feeling his muscles. “Well,” I say, trying to circle both hands around his bicep as he flexes, “I got a copy for myself too. I was thinking we could start up ABC again. As friends.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Okay. We’ll start it up as enemies, then. I get first pick, and this is it.” I tap the hardcover book in his hand. “You can read it to your kitty through the door. Then talk about it with me. At the gym.”
After an eternity, he says, “Fine.”
I keep hearing my phone buzzing in my bag and go to retrieve it. There are a bunch of texts from an unknown number, and it turns out it’s Cindy. Inviting me out for drinks with the gals. “Hey, it’s Cindy,” I tell him. “She’s inviting me out with the girls. Tonight. She says to tell you they’re going to be my wingladies.” I look over to find his jaw clenched so tight I’m worried he might crack it.
“Yeah?”
“Unless you’d like to hang out with me tonight,” I say.
“Can’t.”
“How about tomorrow?”
“Can’t. You should definitely go out with Cindy and the girls.”
“Okay. Well. Aubrey has challenged me to find a date to take to her wedding in June, so if I don’t meet someone tonight, then the only place I’m likely to meet someone, aside from the apps, is your gym.”
His nostrils flare. “I don’t think there’s anyone there that you’d like.”
“I happen to already know there’s someone there that I like.” I pick up my bag and open the front door to leave, before I start crying again. “But he’s kind of a stubborn dick, so I guess I have to go wash my hair and get ready to go out.”
“Hey,” he says, grabbing my hand.
I spin around to look at him. “What?”
He stares down at my mouth, grunts, and says, “Don’t drink too much. Text me pictures of everything before you put it in that sassy mouth of yours.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Everything?”
His jaw tightens again. “Drink vodka if you can.”
“Maybe. Don’t forget to talk to her through the door. Read her a book. Oh, and put a rolled-up pair of dirty socks in the bathroom with the kitten.”
His brow wrinkles. “What?!”
“So she can get used to your scent.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I get onto my tiptoes and inhale near his neck. “You smell fucking amazing, Bradley,” I whisper, plant a kiss on his neck, and then run away.
Takethat, Mitch!
CHAPTER 15
VIVIAN
“Ugh! You know how they say that the brain is the largest sexual organ?!” I shout into Cindy’s ear, probably louder than I need to in order to be heard over the karaoke singer’s rousing rendition of “Part of Your World.” “I mean, I don’t know who ‘they’ is, but first of all, they have clearly never seen the bulge in Brad’s—I mean Mitch’s—sweatpants.”
I snort laugh. She giggles and holds up her hand for a high-five.
“I wanna be where the bulge is in his sweatpants. That’s my ‘I Want’ song.” I crack myself up, but I don’t think Cindy gets my reference. “Secondly,” I continue, “Mitch’s brain is the biggest cockblocker I have ever met!”
I punctuate that declaration by taking another big sip of my strawberry daiquiri, which is kind of the opposite of vodka, but it’s soooooo delicious. I earned this because I did five back-to-back YouTube workouts with the wordbootyin the title this morning and then I did two arm workouts, even though it was supposed to be a rest day, but I feel fine. Still, I accidentally,totally on purpose, did not send Brad a photo of this gorgeous bowl of alcoholic liquid sugar.