Page 4 of Resistance Training
“Well, you just said you’re great in that defensive tone.”
“Yeah, because you have resting condescension face even when you’re smiling.”
She sighs. Her sigh is much louder and longer, more mature than the one I produced a moment ago. “Can we start over?” She waves her hand like she’s Tom Cruise in a sci-fi actionthriller, swiping the mental remnants of our prior conversation away to delete it. “I have news.” She’s still smiling. She isn’t even annoyed that I brought up her resting condescension face. Which is highly sus.
I do some rapid mental sister math and then gasp. “Oh my God!” I pick up the phone with one hand, cover my heart with the other. My heart is genuinely racing all of a sudden. “He proposed!”
“Yes. How did you?—”
“The way you’re smiling. And I just realized this is the three-year anniversary of your first date! Aubrey—I am so happy for you!”
“Thank you. I can’t believe you remember that.” She sighs and deflates a little. “Wow. I really wanted to, like,giveyou the news so you’d be surprised like Mom and Dad were.”
“Oh, sorry. Tell me now. I’ll act surprised—I promise.”
“Ugh. That’s dumb.”
“Shit. I’m an asshole. I ruined your news because I didn’t want to talk about me anymore.”
“You’re the actual worst,” she says, smiling.
“Show me the ring, show me the ring! Tell me everything there is to know about everything!”
“Okay, first of all, we are not done talking about you, and secondly…ta-dahhh!” She holds her left hand up in front of the camera, and I can just tell she’s been practicing this in front of a mirror and probably already took eleven thousand selfies to post on Insta as soon as she’s told all the important people over the phone. Aubrey has wanted to marry Eric since before their first date, over three years ago.
“Wow. Aubrey, it’s gorgeous. That is so perfect for you.”
“Right?! Mom screamed. And, you know, she’s been drinking mimosas off and on since brunch, so then she just burst intotears because she can’t believe her first baby’s finally getting married, and eventually started moaning aboutpoor littleVivi.”
“Fantastic. Love that for me.” I do not love those two words that have been preceding my name whenever it’s uttered by family members for the past few months, but let’s move on. “What did Dad say?”
“Dad mumbled something about how Eric could have put half the money he paid for the ring toward a down payment on a house, then said if it was that important for Eric to make me happy then it was a good investment.”
“On brand. And sweet.” Our parents adore Eric and his entire family and basically everyone Eric knows and everything he stands for. “They must be so excited.”
“They are. I wasn’t expecting them to bethatexcited, Vivi. It was so cute. I made them promise not to tell you until I did. I mean, I just hung up with them, like, ten minutes ago.” She sighs again. A happy sigh. “It’s all happening.”
The tip of my nose is tingling and my eyes are getting watery. I have no idea what it feels like to want to marry someone in particular, but I know exactly what it feels like to want someone I love to marry the person she loves, and now it’s going to happen. My sister is not a crier, but I can tell she’s getting emotional. When she gets emotional she gets really still and clears her throat. It’s impossible to tell if she’s trying not to cry or if she’s trying not to throw up.
“Hey. I won’t tell anyone if you vomit,” I say, teasing.
“Shut up.” She clears her throat. “I’m not crying.” She clears her throat again. “There’s more; let me talk.”
“You’re the one who can’t talk because she’s crying.”
She frowns, clears her throat twice, and then says, “I want you to be my maid of honor.”
I wait for her to laugh and sayJust kidding—could you imagine?!
She doesn’t. “Did you hear me?”
“Yeah. Wait. Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“You wantmeto be your maidof honor?”
“Of course I do.”
