Page 39 of Resistance Training
“I only meant that you deserved better. But that was very clever of me.”
I am clearly still on an endorphin high from the workout and seeing Brad, because I can only laugh at that. “It was funny because it was true.”
“Yeah. I can see you getting that spark back already, and I’m glad.” She rubs her lips together and gets this elfin look in her eyes that makes me uncomfortable.
“But?”
“But you still have to bring a date to my wedding, so if it doesn’t work out with Brad, then maybe you can meet someone else at the gym.”
I sigh. “Okay.”I wonder if Dolores is single…“But enough about me. How many items did you check off of your wedding-planning to-do list today?”
Aubrey tells me about all nine things she checked off of her to-do list today, including securing the hotel and event space and minister, and my mind only wanders to Brad’s butt in those joggers five times. And then she does that thing. She clears her throat and her eyes get watery. “I just love him so much, Vivi.”
“Aww, I know.”
“And I know it probably looks like I’m obsessed with the wedding and the ring and theI’m getting married!of it all, but that’s not the thing that makes me so happy.”
“Tell me.”
She clears her throat and then coughs a little and finally says, “It’s the little things. Just living with him. We’re so comfortable around each other. He wanders around naked all the time, andnot in a sexy way. We have conversations where I’m brushing my teeth and he’s clipping his toenails. He farts in bed and we laugh, and it’s just so cozy.”
My brain just caved in. “Please tell me you fart around him too.”
“No, I don’t fart—that’s gross.” She bursts out laughing. “I do, Vivi! He is literally the only person I fart around besides you, and I know that doesn’t sound romantic but it’s really and truly lovely, and I want that for you. I want you to have someone you can be that cozy with. And if that somehow sounds condescending, then I give up, because it’s the most loving big-sisterly thing I can say to you right now.” She clears her throat and sniffles. “If you make me cry, I’m hanging up.”
I instantly burst into tears because it is honestly the sweetest thing she’s ever said to me. I’m not done enjoying living by myself yet, but if I ever live with a man again, I want it to be someone who cuts his toenails in front of me, but not in a gross way. Aubrey makes a squawking sound, tells me she loves me, and hangs up.
What a day.
Now I can’t wait to see Brad again so I can clear things up and hopefully start over.
CHAPTER 11
BRAD
“Sweet little birdy told me you were spotted walkin’ a peach of a girl to her car the other night,” says Larry, the seventy-year-old millionaire from Tennessee who’s been divorced four times. “You gotta lock that down, bruh.”
I guess my thoughts drifted. Larry likes to count out loud when he’s doing reps, and his form has gotten really good by now, so I don’t have to pay as close attention as I do with newer clients like Vivian. Clients like Vivian who text me full-body selfies in a plunge sports bra and leggings from four different angles at 6:00 a.m., forcing me to take a second shower.
Yes, I told her to take selfies to track her progress, but I did not tell her to do cheesecake pinup poses and send them to me right before I have to go to work. That was a dick move. And I hope she does it again soon.
“Huh?”
“Yeah. You got the Pussy Face.”
“I do not have the Pussy Face.”
“Pussy on the brain,” he says. He’s on the lat pull-down machine, and I might have to add more weight because he is notstruggling at all. “I know what’s on your mind because it’s all over your face.”
“Why don’t you try slowing down your reps,” I tell him. “Five seconds on the way down, squeeze those shoulder blades together at the bottom of the rep like you’re squeezing a little stress ball between them… Good. Slowly back up. Feel the difference?”
“Fuck yeah, I do. And you still have the Pussy Face.”
“It’s complicated, and Cindy had the wrong idea. Vivian and I were friends in high school, and now she’s a client. End of story.”
“Sounds like you’re the one with the wrong idea, bruh. Am I sayingbruhright?” Larry looks like a sixty-year-old hippie who has reluctantly gone through a makeover or seven, in order to please the women in his life and various board members. His whole vibe screamsI give exactly the right amount of fucks, but at the end of the day I am who I am and you can fuck off if you don’t want it.I can coach him on how to build muscle and train without getting injured, but we both know which of us is the real mentor here.
“There’s no right way to say it,” I grumble. I have never been able to relate to my own generation. Aside from that one person who is of my generation who I will not be relating to, except as a client.
