Page 29 of Resistance Training
No, it isn’t. The writing is better than expected. But the story is stupid.
VIVIAN
Compared to what?! War and Peace?
BRAD
Literally every book that isn’t Twilight is better than this book. I will never forgive you for making me read this.
VIVIAN
I told you I would get you back for making me read Dune.
Are you just being an asshole because this is Asshole Book Club or do you really hate it? I need to know.
But also, I really do want you to like it because it was my first favorite book that wasn’t a children’s book. I could totally relate to Bella because I had to start at a new school in the middle of the year. I still like it and I think deep down you do too.
BRAD
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I am not a twelve-year-old girl.
Also, you started school here two months into freshman year. That’s not the same as transferring to a new school in a different state well into senior year when everyone else at that school grew up together.
VIVIAN
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it shows a real strength of character that you’ve committed to reading this for our little book club even though you aren’t a twelve-year-old girl. You’re such an agreeable grumpy old man. I just can’t believe how long it’s taking you to read it.
BRAD
First of all, I usually have to wait for you to catch up when we read books together. Secondly, I finished reading it this afternoon.
VIVIAN
You did? Why didn’t you tell me?!
BRAD
Because I also had to finish my final project for Independent Study. And because there was so much talk about prom in that book, and prom tickets go on sale tomorrow. It kind of felt like you were trying to tell me something…
VIVIAN
I definitely wasn’t…
I mean, I really wasn’t. But we should talk about it tomorrow morning. Unless you want to talk about it now? I can come over real quick.
BRAD
No, don’t. I have to do something.
VIVIAN
Okay, then. I look forward to discussing this further on our walk to school in the morning. And there’s also another thing I need to talk to you about.
BRAD
Okay. There’s something I need to talk to you about tomorrow too. And not just about how much you owe me for making me read this book and the fact that you’re making me read this now. This could very well be the last book I ever read for ABC. And it’s Twilight. The fuck?
VIVIAN
