Page 36 of A Very Snowed In New Year
HoldUp.76: Nice. You tense?
ShayAnything.83: Yeah. Soooo tense. I noticed you have big, strong hands…
HoldUp.76: I do. I’m good with them.
ShayAnything.83: I wish you were here. I’m soooo tight.
HoldUp.76: Well. Good thing you’re staying at a spa.
ShayAnything.83: Right! Guess my massage therapist is running late. Dragon his feet. LOL.
Crickets. I don’t know what else to say. Finally, after around a hundred and infinity seconds, I see moving dots.
HoldUp.76: Okay, well. Merry Christmas again.
ShayAnything.83: You too!
Phew.
Well. I tried.
I get a text from Lainey.
LAINEY:Hey! I heard from Shay. She told me about Big Bear. How are we feeling?
ME: Conflicted?
ME:Why is this so hard? It’s always been easy and kind of fun with your guys.
LAINEY:Because you never had any kind of attachment to the guys you were texting for me. Obvi. And because I’m not awretched B-face like my sister. I can’t believe she isn’t even here with us for Christmas. What a twatnugget.
LAINEY:But it’s great that she loves your script!
LAINEY:As much as I don’t recommend spending time with her, she really is a good actress and when she decides she wants something, like getting a movie made, watch out. She will get ’er done. I’m so excited for you!
ME:Thank you.
ME:I can’t believe this is all happening. I mean, NONE of it is happening in a way that I ever imagined it would. But it’s happening.
LAINEY:Yeah. And you’re a hopeful romantic, remember? This all just means you’re on the right path and that path is leading you to someone even better than Holden Archer.
LAINEY:I can’t believe I’m the one who just wrote that sentence and not you.
ME:You’re right. Sigh. It’s crazy that I’m not just happy to be on the same path as Holden Archer at all, even for a minute. Even as your sister.
LAINEY:Atta girl. Merry Christmas. Love ya.
ME:Love ya.
When I walk out of the guest room, Ben is trudging down the hall from the bathroom. He tilts his head when he looks at me. “What’s your problem, dork? Roast chicken farts got you down?”
“We should probably open some windows, now that you mention it.” I muss up his hair. “Hey,” I whisper, tugging on his sweater. “Hang on. I’ve got a joke for you.”
He crosses his arms in front of his chest, assembling a mask of preemptive boredom.
“Knock knock.”
He rolls his eyes. “Who’s there, dork face?”
