Page 24 of A Very No Strings Halloween
“By all means. Proceed.”
“This is all great and kind of thrilling and very impressive.” I swirl my hands around. “But one thing alady would probably appreciate is to hear you get real, you know? Open up a little.”
“Yeah?”
“I mean, if I were anyone other than me and this were an actual date, I’d really like to know what makes you tick. What’s important to you?”
Billy’s body language changes. He gets all serious, like he’s really thinking about what to say. And just that, even, is so perfect. “Like, in general?” he asks.
“Just say whatever’s on your mind. Tell me something important, big or small. Tell me something true about you.”
He picks up his tumbler of whiskey on the rocks and clears his throat. “Well, Donna, I happen to have a lot of thoughts and feelings about life in general. I believe that I am doing things right and most people are missing out on the potential of what their lives could be. I believe life is for livin’. Y’know? I mean,youget it, right?”
“I do—I really do.” He could have said he believes farts are messages from aliens and I would have agreed with him because I want to hear where this is going. I slow-blink at him, like a cat. A horny, tipsy cat who wants to curl up in his lap. But I don’t. I place my elbow on the table and rest my chin on my fist and listen to him.
“Yeah, like, you’re anold-people nurse, right?”
I chuckle at that. “I am a registered nurse specializing in geriatric care, yes.”
“Yeah, so you probably know a lot of old people, and I bet none of them have ever said to you as they lay there on their deathbeds, ‘Dammit, Donna, I just wish I’d lived a little less and tried fewer things and had less fun.’ Right?”
“Absolutely correct.”
“Now, I’m not talkin’ about hittin’ the clubs or any of that bullshit—sorry, is it okay for me to swear on a date?”
“I mean, it depends on who your fucking date is and whether or not you’re swearing at her or around her, but in this case I will allow that shit.”
He laughs. “Fuckin’ A, Fischer. Fuckin’ A.” The skin around his eyes crinkles and his brown eyes sparkle when he smiles and laughs, all easygoing, and it’s just so…appealing.
We just smile at each other for a few seconds, and I find myself leaning toward him even more and biting my lower lip as I stare at his mouth. That filthy, talented mouth, and then I remember that this isn’t a real date—I’m here to teach him how to date someone else.
Clearing my throat, I straighten up and say, “In general, though, in the spirit of your edification, Sir William, I’d say people are expected to be on their best behavior for the first date. First through thirddate, even. And most would say that you should wait until you get a sense of whether or not your date would be offended by something before saying it. But honestly, I would rather know who a person is up front instead of finding out years into the relationship after I’ve moved to another state to go to college with him…” I smack my lips, realizing that I was about to reveal way more about my own personal history than necessary.
Billy’s brow furrows. “Go on…”
“Nope!Yougo on. Tell me more of what you’d tell a date about your thoughts and feelings about life.”
He studies me for an odd moment and then launches back into it. “Yeah, y’know. I just think life should be an adventure. I think people forget that. It’s like, we know it instinctively as kids, right? We’re born with that hunger. It’s just like an innate intense curiosity about what this world we were born into is like.
“Learning is an adventure. That’s the kind of fun I’m talking about. Learning what life can be. Learning who you are. Learning what your friends are made of. But most people, as soon as they start taking on responsibilities, it’s like they think that means they aren’t allowed to have fun anymore. A lot of people assume that just ’cause I like to have fun that means I’m irresponsible.” He shrugs. “If drivin’ a Volvo and payin’ all your bills on time and makin’ sure all yourloved ones are taken care of doesn’t count as bein’ responsible, well, then I guess I’m not.
“But nobody ever got hurt on a night out with me. Yeah sure, a lot of crazy shit happens when you’re open to it. Yeah, there’s been hours, which over the years have added up to days, which are unaccounted for. Me and my cousins, we’ll never know how we ended up in Michigan that time. But as far as anyone knows, no one has ever gotten hurt on my watch and nothing illegal ever went down.”
I don’t know if my neighbor’s a salesman or not, but I am buying everything this guy’s selling and I would go so far as to say that I would beat the crap out of anyone if I heard them tell him he’s irresponsible. This is a man who knows what’s up. “So that’s what you want in life?” I find myself asking. “To have adventures? Do you want to have adventures with anyone in particular? Or raise any little adventurers? And if so, how many?” I reach for his whiskey glass, take a tiny sip of it, and then give it back to him. “Go on.”
He laughs at me, ever so gently. Trevor used to get so judgmental whenever I drank, especially if we were at a nice restaurant or with his family. I guess I forgot that dates can be fun. With guys like Billy at least.
“Well,” he says, “I actually do love kids.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I babysit for my brother and my cousins all the time. Whenever they let me, I mean. Yeah, I’d loveto have kids of my own someday. I guess I always kind of assumed I’d have a bunch of kids at some point, in the same way I assumed I and everyone I knew would keep havin’ fun forever…” He stares down into his glass, twirls the ice cubes around, and takes a sip. “I guess I thought that kind of stuff just happens. But then I saw my brother and my best friends—my cousins, those assholes—I saw how they had to work for it. Y’know? They kind of changed all of a sudden and they made a decision and all of a sudden they knew…”
“Knew what?”
“Who they wanted. What they wanted with her. And that they wanted itnow. Not some hypothetical time in the future. And they wanted it forever. There was always a struggle, and then it got clear for them. And then it was like that’s how it’s always been. It’s like they forgot the long and winding road, you know?”
I nod. I swear to God, if he starts singing a Beatles song, I’m dead.
