Page 20 of A Very Grumpy Father's Day
EIGHT
Maddie
COME AND GET YOUR LOVE MUSCLE
*The Thursday before Father’s Day*
We made it through the middle of the week, but Wednesday was yet another No-Hump Day for me and Declan.
Every now and then, for no apparent reason, Ciara decides she just doesn’t want to sleep alone in her room at night—and who could blame her? There are experts and judgy experienced parents who would criticize us for not sticking to the routine or giving her the opportunity to self-soothe, but they aren’t raising Ciara Piper Cannavale. Also, they might be right because bringing her to her old crib in our room did not please her either. It’s just a phase, Bex and my mom keep telling me. She’s teething. Her brain is developing rapidly at this age. She can stand up, and that’s exciting for her. She wants to walk but she can’t, so she’s frustrated. There’s a lot going on for her that is overstimulating, thus affecting her ability to sleep.
It doesn’t help that her daddy is also frustrated and emitting an intense, distinctI Need To Get Laidvibe.
You would think that since we share a bed each night it would be easy for me to just climb on top of him or for him to just put it in me. But you would be wrong. I remember a time before having Ciara when I thought that surely it would be that easy. I was wrong. Lately, it feels as if Declan and I have been wrong about absolutely everything. Aside from the unspoken understanding that we do, in fact, need to get laid. We aren’t wrong about that.
Today just might be the day we both get to flex our love muscles.
My boss canceled our early afternoon meetings, and the desk floater is available to cover for me—which means I could take an extra-long lunch break. I checked Declan’s calendar, and he just has lunch with a colleague that he doesn’t like very much and no meeting scheduled right after that. So this could work.
I call his personal cell phone from my personal cell phone, and he picks up on the second ring. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Good. Wanna cancel your lunch meeting?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t even know why I’m asking.”
“Sex. You’re asking because of sex. Is it sex?”
“Yes. It’s sex. You remember that hotel we used to meet at before I got—”
“Yes. I will meet you there.”
“Let me make sure I can get a room first.” I pull up the website on my computer.
“Just meet me there. I will fuck you on the fire escape if I have to.”
“Babe. Come on. It hasn’t beenthatlong since we…”
“We have never gone this long before. Except right after you had Ciara. But back then we were both so tired it hardly mattered.”
“Oh, really? Because I seem to recall you complaining every day for six weeks.”
“Right. But we were both exhausted when I complained about it, so it didn’t count.”
“Okay, well, I’ll call the hotel and text you in a minute.” The hotel is on the Upper West Side, on my side of Central Park. We used to have quick and dirty little lunchtime trysts back when we lived farther from our offices. “It’s a nice day. You’re going to walk through the park to get there, right?”
“Negative. I am not going to risk getting arrested for running through Central Park with a massive erection.”
“I’ll be sure to tell your ma. She’ll be so proud.”
“Too soon.”
* * *
It’s exactly one o’clock when I open the door to the most affordable room that was available at the hotel. Even when I’m being carefree and scheduling a little afternoon delight with my lawyer husband, I still can’t shake my frugal Staten Island upbringing. Splurge on the manicure, save on a double bed. I do not foresee Declan complaining about the size of the mattress when he gets here.
I texted him the room number when I was in the lobby and didn’t hear back from him. I’m hoping he’s already on his way. I adjust the thermostat because Idoknow he’d complain about how cold it is. I remove my light jacket and try to decide whether or not I should be dressed when I greet him. Then I remember how horny he is and realize I don’t have anything to change into if he tears off my clothing—so naked it shall be.
