Page 4 of There Is Also a Dog
“Because you’re in a gorgeous cabin on Christmas Eve! In the Catskills! Instead of at the office.”
“Which is such baloney. I mean, they basically encourage us to stay at the office twenty-four seven on non-holidays. It’s like—don’t give your employees mixed messages, am I right?”
“No, you are not right. That is the exact opposite of my point. You deserve a break from the office. You more than deserve it—you need it. You worked so hard this year. I know it was because you were trying not to think about—”
“I work hard because I finally have the chance to work hard. It is my privilege and my right.”
“Because you don’t have to deal with the care and feeding of Caleb anymore. And you also don’t have to deal with him complaining that you waste money on stationery products. I know, I know, whatever—but this is going to besogood for you, I just know!”
“God, I wish I had whatever it is you’ve spiked your eggnog with.” I wander over to the huge open kitchen to pour myself another glass of wine.
“It’s one-hundred proof holiday cheer.” She winks. “I mean, come on. How was that place even available at the last minute?! Is it incredibly expensive?”
“Not really. My friend said he usually rents it out through Airbnb, but someone had just canceled an hour before I contacted him and the people who were on the waitlist had already made other arrangements.”
“Fate!”
“As long as I keep getting internet, I’ll be fine.” This has been my mantra ever since I left my apartment. Actually, it has been my mantra ever since I was old enough to know what the internet is. My stomach sinks when the image of my sister freezes up and her voice gets all wonky. “Oh no. Is that your Wi-Fi or mine? Can you get out of the pantry?”
“No! I like it in here.” She’s moving again, and I can hear her just fine.
“Phew. That scared me.”
“Is there anyone else around at all? Is the owner even on the same property?”
“He said his house is about a mile away, and he’s in town now, so if I need anything, he can come over.”
She nearly chokes on her nog. She grins and waggles her eyebrows. “And do youneedanything he can come over and give you?”
“Yes. His dog. And some decorating advice.”
“Is ‘dog’ slang forpenis?”
“Have I ever said anything other thancockwhen referring to a penis?”
“Well, you did call Caleb’s penis Captain Hook once,” she reminds me.
I almost laugh at that.
“Is he single?”
“Mitchell? I think so. Seems to be a great catch for another single gay man.”
“How do you know he’s gay?”
“Because no straight man who owns this kind of property would leave custom Christmas cards or have such nice hands or be flirtatious in emails right off the bat. He certainly wouldn’t have big feet and leave pretty, perfect homemade peppermint bark cookies for his guests. That’s not how life works. It’s not how my life works anyway.”
My sister’s eyes are now bulging out of their sockets. “Oh my God.”
“Don’t say it.”
“Oooohhh myyy gaawwwd, this is just like—”
“Do not say it’s like a Netflix Christmas movie.”
“It’s like a Hallmark Christmas movie!!!”
“It’s really not. Unless there’s one about a big-city woman who comes to a small town cabin and actually gets some work done in between occasional ten-minute vibrator breaks.”
