Page 82 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
Billy and Nolan start shaking their heads and waving their hands.
“Okay.” I put her on speakerphone.
“William Oscar O’Sullivan. Can you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am. Great to hear your voice, Mrs. C.”
“Get closer to the phone so I don’t have to yell.”
Billy takes one cautious step closer to my phone as Nolan backs away quietly.
“Closer! I don’t have all day.”
He takes ten loud steps over toward me. “Right here, Mrs. C.”
“You stop trying to corrupt my baby boy, you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You think your father didn’t try that garbage with me when we were growing up? You think just because your love life’s a mess, everyone else’s has to be too?”
“Yes, ma’am. I mean—no, ma’am. I do not.”
“Pull it together, kid. You’re better than this. You were a sweet little boy who made me the cutest Valentine’s Day card. When you were eight, you remember?”
Billy covers his face and mumbles, “Yes, ma’am, I sure do.”
“You remember what it said?”
He shakes his head.
Nolan is laughing into his leather jacket in a corner.
“You tell me what it said. I know you remember.”
“It said, ‘Hi Aunt Mamie. U R pretty and I hope I get to marry a lady like U when I grow up.’”
“That’s exactly right. You think you’re grown up enough to handle a lady like me yet?”
“I guess so.”
“That’s right, you are. And it’s about damn time too. Stop messing around and find yourself someone like me. And leave my boy alone. You hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“All right. You’re a good kid. Act like one. Now get outta here.”
“Thank you.” Billy exhales and stumbles back to the kitchen like he’s leaving a boxing ring after being knocked down in round one.
“Nolan Seamus Cassidy. You there?”
Nolan saunters over. “Aye, I’m here. Lovely to hear your voice, Mary-Margaret. Howya?”
“Don’t try to brogue me, Cassidy. I will not fall for it. You behave yourself when you’re a guest in my son’s home.”
“Right.”
“You think I don’t know what’s going on with you? Your ma and I email every week. I know you’re hurting—don’t try to drag my boy down with you.”
