Page 69 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
I’m going to find my own ways of saying it, so you can understand too.
I’ll say it in as many different ways as I can until you do.
Happy Valentine’s Day, Birdie.
Thank you for being a great friend.
I’m glad I decided to sit next to you.
I’m glad I decided to take the train with you.
I hope to sit next to you for the rest of our lives.”
Andthat’show you leave a message, people.
I weep for fifteen solid minutes. Can’t even bring myself to listen to it again. Don’t have to. I heard it. Really heard it, with all my heart and soul.
When the tears have finally dried, I read the text messages on the burner phone.
YOUR SECRET VALENTINE: Here’s another thing I’ve never told you: every time you wear your hair up, all I want to do is kiss your neck. Even as a friend. It’s like when I’m getting in shape for a shirtless scene on the show. Even though I’m fucking dying to eat pasta and bread and cookies, I know I shouldn’t, so I don’t. Because I’m goal oriented. And my goal with you used to be to do whatever I had to, to be the best friend that I could be to you. My new goal is to be the best friend that I can be to you, while also kissing your neck. And every other part of you. In the best way that I can. I’m going to be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, Bird. Whenever you’re ready. Because I am. I am beyond ready for you.
YOUR SECRET VALENTINE: I also never told you that after I saw your tits at your party last month, I went home and beat off and came harder than I ever had when I was thinking about Alana or any other girl. Thought you should know.
YOUR SECRET VALENTINE: And another thing: I loved sleeping in the same bed as you. It was a pretty shitty, not very comfortable bed, but I slept better next to you than I have in any other bed since moving out of my parents’ house. I want to fall asleep with you, dream with you, and wake up with you in my arms. Whenever possible. And before we fall asleep, I want to do absolutely filthy things to you. Filthy, beautiful things. In a loving way. But really fucking filthy.
Yeah. Eddie Cannavale just might be the best guy alive.
I don’t reply to him because I have to get ready to leave for Union Station. But I’m already thinking of all the things that I’d like to say and do to my secret valentine when I get the chance.
* * *
And now, I’ve boarded the train to New Yorkby myself, and these are the texts I’ve received from my dear longtime friend Eddie that I probably should have kept on a leash…
EDDIE: Hey. Bought a coat. Got a voicemail from Rita’s office. Sounds urgent. Have to call her back.
EDDIE: Hey. Turns out they need me back on set in Vancouver in a week, so I can’t take the train back to LA. But I want you to fly to LA with me. That way, we can stay an extra day or two in New York. I don’t want you taking the train back by yourself.
EDDIE: Hi. Forgot to wear my sunglasses and baseball cap, so I got mobbed by fans. Turns out I’m huge in Chicago. Doesn’t seem to be doing me any ducking good though because I’m trying to find a ducking cab but it’s starting to snow so they’re all taken. Going to walk as fast as I can to the station. I’ll make it. Don’t worry.
ME: Eddie. Just tried to phone you. They’re making the final boarding call.
EDDIE: Duck. Shit. Duck.
Okay, so Eddie Cannavale is still the best guy alive, but he’s not perfect. Nobody’s perfect. But he could at least be fuckinghere. We are moving. This train is actually leaving the station. Those butterflies are still there in my belly, but now they’re getting a little bit ragey and they want to smack that boy up the side of his head.
I’m staring down at my phone—the regular one—about to call him, when he calls me. “I am so sorry.”
“You’re not on the train?”
“I am so, so sorry. I just got to the platform. I’m watching it go.”
“Eddie!” I go to the window that faces the platform, but I can’t see him.
“Look, it’s not ideal, but I will work this out. I can fly to New York and be there to meet you at Penn Station when you get in.”
“You’re really not on the train? This is a joke, right?”
“Would you consider it a funny joke, if it were?”
