Page 92 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
Chapter Twenty-Nine
DECLAN: You crazy kids make it home okay?
EDDIE: If by “kids” you mean two high-functioning twenty-six-year-old adults and by “crazy” you mean “crazy in-love” and by “okay” you mean “barfed only once on the plane” and “barfed twice at LAX because she drank so much on the plane,” then yes. We made it home okay. Although, we are currently in two separate apartments, so she might still be barfing and not telling me.
BIRDIE: I am not barfing! Declan, I would just like to point out that your brother held my hand during the entire plane ride, from taxiing to landing. Even when he was holding the barf bag for me.
DECLAN: That doesn’t sound like him.
EDDIE: And also while I did something under a strategically placed blanket. To help her relax.
DECLAN: That’s more like it.
MADDIE: Ahhh, the ol’ Cannavale “let me help you relax” move. I’m familiar with that one.
MADDIE: Absolutely loved meeting you, Birdie!
BIRDIE: I want to be you when I grow up, Maddie!
MADDIE: I want to come to LA so you can be my guide at the museums there too! I loved experiencing The Met and MOMA with you.
BIRDIE: Yes! I can give you a special VIP tour of the archives at the Getty! I know exactly where I can take you for lunch after! I’m so excited!
MADDIE: I’ll look at the calendar and see what works!
DECLAN: Am I invited on this trip to LA, or is this a girl thing? It feels like a girl thing.
EDDIE: I definitely feel left out of this conversation… Baseball. Beer. Boobs.
DECLAN: Fiduciary relationship. Annual reports. Indemnification.
MADDIE: I’ll start another text convo with you, Birdie.
BIRDIE: Just sent you a text, Maddie!
EDDIE: Let’s just bump Declan off this one.
DECLAN: That would be stupid because I’m hilarious.
EDDIE: Way to clear a room, bro.
DECLAN: I’ll just keep writing awesome texts until you people realize how awesome I am.
EDDIE: Seriously, though. How great is my girlfriend?
DECLAN: She’s amazing. I’m so glad you finally took my ducking advice.
EDDIE: You never actually gave me any ducking advice about her, but thanks.
DECLAN: It was implied.
EDDIE: Right. Like your awesomeness.
DECLAN: Precisely. If you would like direct advice, you must ask for it directly. And you might get charged for billable hours.
EDDIE: I’m thinking it feels weird not being in the same apartment as Birdie now. Is it too soon to tell her we should move in together?
DECLAN: Yes.
