Page 73 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
The One with the Texts from an Unknown Number
I am fortune’s fool.
I’m here in New York.
It’s snowing lightly outside, which makes the gray February slush look slightly less horrible.
I’m here with my brand-new warm winter coat, and I would give anything to be freezing my ass off, naked on a train with Birdie.
As Declan had warned me weeks ago, there isn’t a single fucking hotel room available in Manhattan or Brooklyn. So here I am at my brother’s badass penthouse, collapsed on his badass leather sofa. Birdie hasn’t called or texted in hours, so they’re probably still in a dead zone. I’m going to stay here readingInfinite Jestall night because I don’t want to miss a call from her if I go out.
And I can’t wait for Declan to get his smug handsome lawyer face out of here because I don’t need him to tell me he was right. Again. About the hotel rooms. About Alana. About Birdie.
“I’m just saying—you’re not stupid.” He saunters out of his bedroom, having changed out of his Hugo Boss suit into a Hugo Boss sweater and jeans. He used to wear Italian suits to the office when he worked in Big Law, so he thinks he’s being casual now that he’s a general counsel for a real estate firm. In German suits. “You’ve had twenty-six years to figure out that I’m right about everything, every time, so why don’t you listen?”
“Don’t you have to be at Maddie’s place for dinner or something?”
“I told you I’m meeting her at her sister’s place for dinner. You sure you don’t want to come? It would make Piper’s year. Especially if you show her your butt.”
“Piper’s her sister?”
“Her niece.”
“Right. The thirteen-year-old. I’m good, thanks. I’d just come off as rude if I’m staring at my phones all night instead of talking to people,” I tell him…while staring at my phones.
“She’s obviously just not getting a signal. You’re not actually worried, are you?”
“Yeah, no. I just can’t believe I missed the train. I can’t believe how much I miss Birdie.”
He gets a far-off look in his eyes. “Yeah. That’s what it’s like, when you’re in love with a woman. One minute without her feels like a fucking year. Every day with her is the best day of your life. Even when she spends most of the day thinking you’re an asshole.” He snaps out of it and then fixes me with his penetrating asshole lawyer gaze. “Or an idiot, in your case. It’s problematic.” He messes up my hair, like he has my whole life ever since I’ve had hair, and then gets up and goes over to the open kitchen. “But you’ll live. You’re on the right track now, at least.”
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Well, this is the least idiotic you’ve been in years. Despite the problematic issue of you missing a train that the love of your life is on. Whodoesthat? You’ll just have to make it up to her once she gets here.”
“Oh, I plan to.”
“Yeah, well. Don’t fuck it up.” He stares into the refrigerator. “I’ve got leftover Chinese from a couple of days ago, frozen borscht from Maddie’s landlady, and about ninety bottles of Italian sparkling water. I can order something to be delivered if you want. The doorman will bring it up for you.”
He still treats me like I’m twelve. “I know how to order food.”
“I just don’t want you to forget to eat when you’re staring at your phone and pretending to read a book that nobody actually reads all the way through. I don’t want Ma finding out you’re starving onmywatch.”
“She won’t know.”
He gives me a look. Because our ma always knows. “I’ll eat the leftover Chinese. You can go.”
“All right.” He puts on an awesome wool coat and beanie. He’s a dick, but the guy knows how to dress. “You remember how to start a fire in the fireplace if you feel cold?”
“Yes, Declan. I remember how to start a fire in a fireplace.”
“Well, you’ve been living in LA for almost a decade. You want me to start a fire for you, so you don’t burn the place down?”
“I will burn this place down right now if you don’t get out of here.”
And now he tilts his head at me like I’m an adorable, impetuous four-year-old. “Awww. Okay, poopie head. You got the spare key I gave you, right?”
“Yes.”
