Page 27 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
“Nothing. Did you call Alana?”
“I told her about the Wi-Fi situation. What’s going on with you? Are you reading a dirty book or something?”
“I was actually reading Brittanica’s entry on Valentine’s Day,” she says. Because of course she was. She slides her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Did you know that it replaced an ancient Roman fertility festival called Lupercalia? They would sacrifice these poor goats and dogs, and then the men would strip hides from the sacrificial animals and run through the streets of the town, slapping women with them, because they believed that would make the women fertile.”
“Sounds about right. I’m sure some of those guys were Cannavales.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “And the pope replaced it with St. Valentine’s Day near the end of the 5th century.”
“Pope Gelasius, right?”
She throws me a stunned look. “Yes. Pope Gelasius I. How did you know that?”
“I Googled this shit when I was bored in my trailer last week.”
“Oh.” She frowns. “So you could impress Alana with Valentine’s Day trivia?”
“No. So I could keep up withyou, nerd.” I raise my glass to her again and then polish off what’s in it.
She blinks a few times, a little stunned, and then she shakes it off. “Anyway. I was reading throughRomeo and Julietearlier.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah… What was…?” She pauses and huffs, annoyed that she’s been interrupted by an announcement from the conductor on the speaker.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Welcome aboard the Southwest Chief, otherwise known as The Love Train, this week. My name is Gavin, and I am your conductor for this journey. Total travel time from Los Angeles Union Station to our final destination of Chicago Union Station will be approximately forty-two hours and fifty minutes—give or take twelve hours. We’ll be making thirty-one scheduled stops between here and there, and you’ll be hearing from me along the way. Weather conditions overnight are favorable, so sit back, relax, enjoy the views and our many amenities—which do not, unfortunately, include Wi-Fi. Whether you’re traveling solo, with friends, lovers, or family, we promise to get you to your destination in one piece but not necessarily on time. On behalf of Amtrak and all of the attendants on board, we hope you have a very safe, comfortable and friendly ride…unless, of course, it’s finally time to take that next step. If you know what I mean…”
Well, that wasn’t a long or awkward announcement at all. Thanks, Gavin.
Something tells me Nancy and Gavin have been gossiping, but maybe I’m reading into things a little too much.
Something tells me Birdie is too, because she’s blushing and can’t meet my gaze.
She pours me the rest of the wine from the bottle, encourages me to drink more, and then looks around the dining car.
It’s about three-quarters full now. I hope we don’t have to share our table with anyone. Especially not that sodding Brit.
Now that the announcement is finally over, she continues. “Um. You used to do a couple of the Romeo monologues in college, didn’t you?”
“Aye, I did doth. ‘t thrilled the ladies and dampened their undergarments.”
“Do you still remember them?”
“The monologues? Psshh. You don’t forget a thing like that.”
She grins at me again. “Can I hear it?”
“Which one? I did two of them.”
“The most famous one.”
“The balcony monologue?” I wrinkle my nose. “Nah. Too long.”
She glares at me. “Edward.” She’s so mad, it’s hilarious.
“What? I did those monologues when I was seventeen, eighteen. I’m way too manly now.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”
