Page 21 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
“Safe from psychopaths who travel by rail. But yes, also that.”
“Uh-huh. Hang on.” She moves the phone away from her mouth but doesn’t cover the receiver when she yells at my dad. Every time. “It’s in the bottom drawer! To the left of the sink! The bottom one! How can I be more specific than that?! No, don’t touch it—I’ll get it! Honey, let me call you back after I get something for your father.”
“I gotta do a scene. I’m at work.”
“Fine. We will discuss this later. Do good work. I love you to pieces.”
“Love you.”
I hang up, somewhat more confused than I was before I’d answered. I do not like being confused. I really don’t like what my ma and Dec were saying about Alana. And I definitely don’t like what she was saying about Birdie.
They’rethe ones who are confused.
I can absolutely keep my hands off of Birdie when we’re bunking together. I haven’t consumed any water this morning, just so I’ll look extra cut for the ladies. That is dedication. I know how to give the ladies what they want. If Birdie doesn’t want my hands on her, my hands will not be on her.
It’s all about being disciplined.
It’s all about will power.
If anyone’s got discipline and will power, it’s me.
But if they serve spaghetti Bolognese on the train, then I’m eating all of it.
