Page 19 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
“Same here, exactly.” I barely even believe what I’m saying, but I am committed to winning every argument about this subject—especially with Declan.
“Fine. We’re both fucked up and lucky any woman will have us.”
“Agreed.”
“Nolan might be in town too if you want to see him.”
“OurcousinNolan?”
“What other Nolan would I be talking about?”
“I know like five guys named Nolan. Why isn’t he back in Ireland?”
“I guess he met someone and decided to stick around for a while. We saw him last week. He’s a changed man.”
I feel my scalp getting hot and prickly, and my whole body tenses up. I check myself in the mirror—my arms are super veiny right now.Nice.“Fucking Nolan Cassidy cannot get married before I do. That guy’s an animal.”
“Didn’t realize it was a competition, but obviously, I will be getting married before either of you do. Where are you staying?
“With Alana.”
“You sure?”
“Of course, I’m sure. That’s the whole point of the trip.”
“Because the hotels in Manhattan are always booked up for Valentine’s Day. And I meanallof them. Brooklyn too.”
“That won’t be an issue for me. And Birdie already has a room booked, so…”
“Wait. Your friend Birdie is coming too?”
“Yeah. She’ll be in town for something else, but I’m taking the train there with her. Don’t ask.”
“Uh-huh. Anyway. If, for whatever reason, you need a place to stay—I know a few guys who will probably let you crash on their couch.”
“I know a few guys too, fucker. Thanks, bro.”
“No problem, brah. Oh, I was supposed to ask you…”
“Yes?”
“You know how Maddie has a niece named Piper?”
“She hot?”
“She’s thirteen.”
“Right.” If we were in the same room, he would have smacked me up the side of the head at least twice by now. “Let me guess. She wants a signed headshot.”
“I think she’d prefer a signedbuttshot, but yeah. She’ll take what she can get.”
“Done. Text me her address. I’ll have my publicist send her something. I’ll send one to Maddie too, so she doesn’t feel left out.”
“Not necessary. Maddie joins me in gazing lovingly at the framed headshot I keep by my bed whenever she sleeps over.”
“See you in a couple of weeks, asshole.”
“Bye, Snookums.”
