Page 17 of A Very Friendly Valentine's Day
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Guidelines For Shared Bedroom On Train
1. Both inhabitants shall remain fully clothed at all times (top and bottom) when in shared bedroom.
* Please note under said guidelines, male inhabitant’s cropped Avengers tank top and Speedos are allowable, thx
2. There will be no flirtation of any kind between inhabitants, i.e. using expressions of a verbal, textual, corporal, facial nature, etc.
* Flirtation expressed in a spiritual/psychic nature is fair game, then. Good to know.
3. There shall be no mention of either inhabitants’ nipples or reference to unfortunate one-time-only nipple slip/froner incident.
* Male inhabitant objects to use of the term “froner.” Recommends adopting use of “amicable tumescence” or “friendly cock rocket” instead. Amicescence or frock rocket for short. Also, please note that it was a semi.
* Male inhabitant agrees that this shall be the very last time either inhabitant mentions or reminisces about aforementioned one-time-only nipple slip/semi-amicescent incident.
* Male inhabitant would like to point out that any and allfuturenipple slip/semi-frock rocket incidents shall be mentioned and reminisced about ad infinitum.
4. There shall be no phone conversations with either inhabitants’ love interests or potential love interests within the confines of the bedroom, unless said bedroom is only occupied by one inhabitant at the time.
* Male inhabitant demands more information regarding female inhabitant’s love interests and potential love interests.
5. Needless to say, there will be no engaging in physical self-love activities in the presence of the other inhabitant—even if it seems like the other one might be fast asleep and unable to notice.
* What is the policy regarding physical self-loathing activities of a sexual nature?
6. There shall be no consumption of foods of a smelly nature while in the bedroom, i.e. hard-boiled eggs, Parmesan cheese, garlic-infused anything, tuna, salmon, paleo turkey pepperoni, paleo meat sticks of any kind.
* Well that just hurts.
7. Alcoholic beverages shall be consumed responsibly and at a reasonable rate.
* Constantly.
8. Needless to say, there will be no sharing of beds. One inhabitant per bed at all times. This includes the sharing of beds with any other passengers.
* ;)
