Page 80 of A Very Bossy Christmas
I clear my throat and try to sound as chipper as possible. “Just needed something new for the New Year,” I say totally unconvincingly.
He sighs. “You don’t have to tell me. I’ll support you, no matter what.” We’re both silent for a long beat before he continues. “I just wanted to tell you something. Something that I had forgotten until recently. Since you won’t be working for him anymore…”
I blow out a laugh. “You finally going to warn me about Declan Cannavale’s moods? You’re a little late.”
“I told you, I don’t know anything about that,” he says jovially. “You remember that time I had lunch with him? When you were still working for me, and he was still at the law firm? He’d asked me to consult on something, and I forgot to bring some papers with me. You swung by the restaurant to drop them off.”
“I do remember that.” That was back when Declan and I used to chat on the phone whenever he’d call for Artie, and I thought it was odd that he’d started making those calls himself.
“I met you outside, but I guess Declan could see you from inside the restaurant. He was always telling me over the phone that I was lucky to have an assistant who was so on the ball. But when I went back inside and sat down, he told me to let him know as soon as I was planning to retire because he wanted to hire you. This would have been a year before you ended up working for him.”
“Oh” is all I can say as I stroke the petals of an orchid bloom and stare at the empty desk through the glass wall opposite me.
“I think he was living with someone back then. But he seemed a little distracted for the rest of lunch. I think he’s had a thing for you for quite some time.”
I snort-laugh at that. “I don’t think so.”
“Well, I don’t know the story, but speaking as a former boss who had a crush on his assistant…”
I cringe for a terrible second.
“Not you, honey—my wife! Did I not tell you that she was my assistant before we married? Things were a little less complicated back then, of course. But it’s never easy to navigate that kind of situation. I’m not saying you should keep working for him. Maybe it’s best if you don’t. It’s none of my business, but you’ve always been like a daughter to me. I’m just saying, in case things got complicated between the two of you… Maybe see what it’s like when you aren’t working together. After all those other boyfriends I’ve seen you with over the years—you deserve a guy like him.”
“Wow. He seems to have developed himself quite a fanbase outside of his former assistants.”
“I’m saying this because I’m a fan ofyou, Maddie. I know we lawyers aren’t the easiest people to work with or live with. But some people are better suited to working and living with us than others.” He chuckles. I always loved it when he’d chuckle like that. Like Santa Claus. “Like it or not, you’re one of the people who can actually handle us. Doesn’t mean youhaveto deal with a lawyer personally and professionally. But if you are looking for something new for next year, maybe you and Declan can both start over with a clean slate… Said my piece. And as I told the recruiter, I’ll sing your praises to whoever will listen.”
I thank Artie, tell him to say “hi” to the missus for me, and hang up. When I look at the texts that Declan had sent earlier, I try re-reading them with a slightly less cynical perspective. And all of a sudden, I can fill in the blanks and rearrange all of the sentences that matter:I love you. I miss you already. Please give me another chance. I’ll do anything. Please don’t be mad at me. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I fucked up. I wish you were here. I need you.
I have no idea what the nail polish emoji was all about, but I think I know what Declan Cannavale is all about now.
AndI never fell like thish around anyone beforeeither.
I hope we haven’t ducked things up completely.
Thirty-Five
Piper
THE BUTTSMACKER
December 30th
Dear Diary,
Today Mom, Aunt Maddie and I basically acted out the climax of every romantic comedy I have ever seen, and one that I plan to write one day when my parents finally give me the screenwriting software I’ve been asking for since I was twelve.
Let’s just say that if there is such a thing as romantic karma, then my boobs are going to get really big, and my first boyfriend will have the best butt in school (although not necessarilymyschool because my New Year’s resolution is to expand my horizons and also crush on boys from other schools).
Anyway. Aunt Maddie wasn’t sure if she should go to Cleveland to be with Declan since he wasn’t answering his phone and hadn’t responded to her text messages. Mom and I were like—OMG you have to go! How can you not go?! You have to go to him and tell him you love him and HEA with him because #Maclan! Like what is she even thinking? He has the best butt in all the land. Well, I mean it’s tied with his brother Eddie’s although I’ve never seen his IRL. They may use a stunt butt on the show IDK.
So Dad watched the baby and Mom and I drove over to Maddie’s. While my mom was still driving around trying to find parking and my aunt was busy finding a flight, I packed a suitcase for her. I packed up all the outfits that I would wear for Declan if I could. She’ll thank me later. Or more like Declan will!
She got a ticket for a flight that was leaving in two and a half hours, so we had to book it!
We rushed to the airport and Mom’s driving wasn’t nearly as slow and annoying as usual since the baby wasn’t in the car with us. Aunt Maddie was more nervous than I’ve ever seen her, so Mom gave her a tiny bottle of something called Bailey’s that she said her Aunt Mel put in her purse “to help get her through the holidays.” And then she put on that Cranberries song “Dreams,” and we all sang it at the top of our lungs.
When we pulled up to drop Maddie off, my mom said the best thing she’s ever said, and I’m so proud of her.
