Page 73 of A Very Bossy Christmas
I have no idea what Julianna Margulies would say in this situation onThe Good Wife, but I let my middle finger do the talking for me.
I don’t slam the door shut, because there are at least five other people here today and also because there are dampers on all of the office doors to prevent them from slamming shut. But I have never wanted to slam a door so badly in my life. Or to throw a desk through a glass wall—or a lawyer.
Or to punch something.
At least I can go home and do that, thanks to the thoughtful asshole who gave me a punching bag for Christmas.
Merry fucking December 28th to me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
MADDIE: Hi.
DECLAN: Hi Piper.
MADDIE: Yeah. It’s me. I’ll delete this convo from her phone when we’re done. She’s here talking to my mom in the other room. Rough day, huh?
DECLAN: It’s not great. She okay?
MADDIE: I’ve never seen her this smad before, TBH.
DECLAN: I don’t know what TBH means. Or smad.
MADDIE: TBH=to be honest. Smad=sad and mad.
DECLAN: Ahh. I tried calling and texting her and going to her place after she left, but she won’t respond. I don’t blame her. I was a total asshole.
MADDIE: IMO she just needs time. IMO=in my opinion FYI. FYI=for your info.
DECLAN: LOL I do know what IMO and FYI stand for, thanks.
MADDIE: Oh cool.
DECLAN: I never wanted things to end up like this.
MADDIE: Neither did she. But it’s not my place to speak for her. Hey, so if you need someone else to go to the wedding with you and pretend to be your GF, I am available!!! LOLOL.
DECLAN: You’re a great kid, Piper. One day, some guy will be lucky to have you. When you’re twenty-five or so.
MADDIE: Maybe by then I’ll have boobs.
DECLAN: I cannot comfortably respond to that, sorry. But you’re great no matter what.
MADDIE: Well anyway. Maybe you should try her again tomorrow. Give her some time to cool down. Give yourself some time to cool down too?
DECLAN: You’re very wise. Except I have to go to Cleveland to be with my brother tomorrow morning. But I’ll try calling or texting.
MADDIE: Okay. And also, if Eddie needs a date let him know that I’m available too LOLOL JK but not really.
DECLAN: You got it. Take care. Don’t forget to delete this conversation.
MADDIE: I’ll do it now. See you later. I hope.
DECLAN: I hope so too. Have a happy new year.
MADDIE:
Thirty-Three
