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I burst out laughing. “Um. No. Would you like to speak with her—who shall I say is calling?”

“JK LOL. How’s it going?”

“Fine. How are you? You sound cold. Are you outside?”

“Yeah. I’m just…walking around.”

“Where? By your office?”

“Not really. You having fun with your family?”

“Yeah, they’re great. It’s nice. The baby’s so cute, but he’s asleep right now. You sound hungry. Did you eat dinner?”

“Not really.”

“Dec. You haven’t eaten all day?”

“I was working. By myself. I forgot.”

Ohhhh fuck it. YOLO.

“Do you want to come over? I mean, we’re done eating dinner, but there’s plenty of leftovers and dessert. I know it’s not part of the plan. What you planned. For us. I mean you and me for the…as part of the…what we discussed before about…”Holy shit, am I stammering? I’m stammering. I do not stammer. Pull it together, Cooper.“It’s really low-key and very Staten Island, but you’re welcome to join us if you don’t have anything else to…” I pause because I hear a police siren going by the house outside, and at the same time, I hear a siren through the phone.

“You sure you want me to meet your family? I don’t want to impose.”

I shuffle over to the living room, past my family who are watchingLove Actuallyon a gigantic big screen TV, and peek out the window. “Oh my gawd,” I whisper into the phone as I stare out at my boss down on the sidewalk, all bundled up in a puffy coat, scarf, and beanie.

“What is it?” my aunt calls out from the sofa. “Is my neighbor throwin’ his trash in my bins again? I swear to gawd this time I’ll kill him.”

“Dec,” I say into the phone. “What are you doing here?”

“OMG, is he here?!” Piper jumps up and runs over to the window next to me.

“Is who here?” My sister comes over to look.

My niece’s hands shoot up in the air as she does a victory dance. “It’s Declan! He’s out front! I gave him the address, and he came!”

“Gave who the address? Who’s Declan?” My mother gets up from the sofa to join us. “Dad—pause the movie!”

“Where is everyone going all of a sudden?” my dad asks. “This is my favorite part of the entire film.”

When Declan looks up from the street, he sees my whole family and me peering out the window at him excitedly, like he’s Santa Claus and we’re all finding out he’s real after all these years of being cynics.

“Well, I was in the neighborhood…” he finally says. “There appears to be a group of people staring at me through a window.”

“That’s us. Come inside.”

“Okay, but what did you tell them about us? About me?”

“Everything. They know everything,” I say, and then I hang up.

“You guys—that’s my new boss and I’m pretending to be his girlfriend over the holidays, but don’t make a big deal about it. Okay?”

I look back out the window and watch Declan slide his phone into his jacket pocket, carrying a shopping bag, as he crosses the street to walk up the driveway. It’s dark out, and he’s lit by a nearby streetlamp, but you can still see, plain as day, that he’s the best-looking guy on Staten Island right now.

“Oh, he’s very good-looking,” my mother says.

“Wait till you see his butt!” Piper exclaims.