Page 69 of The Plus Ones
“Hey, we should have tried that.” My mom smacks my dad’s arm, and the camera sways all over the place. I feel dizzy, but it might be because Keaton’s hand has slid down to my ass, and I can’t believe he’s Skyping with my parents. This is so weird.
Keaton’s phone vibrates, and he checks the Caller ID. “I am so sorry, but I have to take this call,” he says to my parents. “I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, I hope to see you again soon.” He sounds so earnest, I almost believe him.
“Nice to meet you, Keaton! Have fun with our girl!” My mother waves at him.
“It’s impossible not to!” he calls out as he walks back inside and shuts the doors.
“He looks like the kinda guy who doesn’t wear socks,” my dad mutters.
Yeah. That’s what I was expecting. My dad hates him. “How can you tell that just from seeing his face?”
“I know faces. I know feet.”
“Well, he wears socks in the city. In public, anyway. I think.”
“He looks like the kinda guy who could afford a lot of socks. Nice ones,” my mother says. “You’ve never had a real boyfriend with a real job before.”
“Yeah, well, I still haven’t. He’s not a real boyfriend.”
“Well, anyway, you look well-rested. Are you actually sleeping in the same room with him? He sounds like a miracle worker.”
“Mom! I gotta go! I have to make some work calls, and you guys have to leave for work soon, right?”
“Hey!” my dad says. “You be good to that guy, okay?”
“What?”
“You heard me. You think I don’t know a guy who’s crazy in love when I see one?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, the way he was looking at you, Roxanne,” my mother coos. “Didn’t you see?”
“He’s just pretending. We’re pretending. Sometimes.”
“I know faces. I know what the face of a man in love looks like,” he says, and then he points to his own face. “It looks like this.” He plants a quick kiss on my mother’s cheek, making her squeal again and making the camera sway again, making me dizzy again, and then the Skype window closes.
As soon as I close that app, I see that I have a bunch of texts from Aimee, Bernadette, and Nina on our Girlfriends Group text, but I quickly realize that Aimee accidentally used the wrong group. She clearly meant to send Nina a message in their mommy group that I’m not a part of.
AIMEE: NINA! YOU. WILL. NOT. BELIEVE!!! K and R. It’s a thing. It’s happening.
NINA: STOP IT!!! Please tell me you’re talking about Keaton and Roxy.
BERNADETTE: ROXTON is ON!!!
AIMEE: Do NOT let Roxy know that I told you because she’s still being all weird about it—also don’t let Chase know. Or Keaton. Better not tell Vince. Or Joni. In case our kids secretly text each other without our knowledge.
NINA: Got it. Dish!
AIMEE: They totally did it a couple of nights ago. Maybe last night too. Who knows probably. They’re so cute, like seriously WTF, but I think it might actually work.
BERNADETTE: #ROXTON4EVA
NINA: Dying. So happy for them. Cannot believe I’m missing this, but I guess if we were there, then K and R wouldn’t be, so yay for us!
ME: Hey guys. Wrong group text, but thanks for the support.
AIMEE:
