Page 32 of The Plus Ones
Oh, don’t you worry, honey. I’m coming for you.
The Hibiscus cottage, which is Pepto-Bismol pink on the outside and bright white with glossy dark wood on the inside, is perfect but for one slight problem.
There’s no sofa.
Roxy and I are staring at the mosquito-net-covered king-size bed that dominates the room. There are flower petals sprinkled over the top cover. There’s a wood bench and one chair in the room. Outside on the veranda, there are two Adirondack chairs, a daybed, a hammock, an infinity plunge pool, and a clawfoot tub.
“Guess we’ll have to share the bed,” I say, feigning disappointment.
“We can ask for a cot.”
I give her a look. “No we can’t.”
“Why not? Not all couples want to share a bed…You can sleep on the veranda.”
“I would get eaten alive by mosquitos.”
“I would stab you to death if any part of you touches any part of me in bed.”
“I will take that risk. It’s a huge bed. There’s plenty of room for both of us.”
She gives me a look. The fists are on the hips.
“You honestly don’t think I can keep my hands off you? You’re that irresistible and I’m that much of a horndog?”
Her big gorgeous mouth is sealed shut.
“Or is ityouthat you don’t trust aroundme, Miss Carter?”
“Give my regards to the mosquitos, horndog. It’s either that or the floor.”
We both look down at the shiny dark hardwood floor, and we both know I won’t be sleeping on it.
“I hope you realize what a fucking awesome gentleman I’m being by not bringing up the fact that I’m the one paying for this entire vacation.”
“I hope you realize how fucking not awesome it is that you just brought it up. And I will pay you for half of everything. I told you I don’t need your money.”
“And I told you I won’t take your money.”
“So what are you saying? ThatIshould sleep outside?”
“I’m saying that no one should sleep outside.”
She is still and quiet and thoughtful for a blissful surprising moment. “We can sleep in four-hour shifts.”
“No way. I’m on vacation. I travel internationally, and I have to deal with jet lag all the time. I am not going to mess up my sleep pattern while I’m on vacation in the same time zone as New York. That’s not going to happen.”
“Fine. I will sleep outside.”
“Absolutely not. We’ll revisit this again later tonight.”
“A higher blood alcohol concentration is not going to affect my decision. I have an extremely high tolerance for alcohol and a very low tolerance for having men in my bed except when they’re fucking me.” My eyebrows shoot up, and she continues before I can say anything. “Especially if I have no plans to fuck them.”
“Interesting choice of words. Plans have a funny way of changing.”
She walks past me to the bathroom and says as she shuts the door, “Especially if I have nodesireto fuck them.”
She can’t even look at me when she says that because it’s a lie.
