Page 25 of The Plus Ones
“I’m just messing with you, asshole. I have no intention of fucking with Roxy. We’re oil and water.” As soon as I say the words “oil and water,” I picture myself in the shower with a tanned, naked, oiled-up Roxy Carter—but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck with her. That means I’m a straight human male. “So don’t even worry about it. We’re both just going because we want to hang out with you guys. Although right now I’m trying to remember why I’ve missed hanging out with you so much.”
“Yeah, it’ll be fun. I’m glad you’re going. I just had to say it so we’re clear. We’ll see you there. Safe flight.”
“You too. See you there.”
Chase “Straight No Chaser” McKay. That guy. We used to work together. Well, I guess, technically I worked for him when I was the CFO at his legal tech startup, but I was his first investor and I was on the board, so we were pretty equally weighted in terms of power as far as I was concerned. We have long since sold SnapLegal for ten times my initial investment, and he started a thriving business with his wife and I became a full-time venture capitalist. So he’s not the boss of me. At all. But I’ve always liked that he’d give it to me straight, ever since college. It’s why he’s my best friend. I just like it less when we’re discussing my personal life, and I like it very little right now. But he’s not wrong. And I have no intention of fucking with Roxy.
I don’t even have to wonder if anyone’s giving her the same warning.
They aren’t.
By the time I get to my office and my assistant has handed me the notes for my meeting, I pull out my personal phone and see a few messages on the lock screen from my Friends group. They’re probably all at the airport now, except for Roxy and me. Vince, Nina, and Joni are going to Indiana. Aimee, Chase, Bernie, and Matt are all flying out to Antigua together. I couldn’t get Roxy and me onto the same flight as our friends because I couldn’t justify rescheduling my morning meeting. Yet another reason for Roxy to be mad at me.
AIMEE MCKAY: I would just like to officially announce in text form how happy I am that Roxy and Keaton are finally a couple!
BERNIE FARMER: #ROXTON4EVA
ROXY CARTER:
NINA DEVLIN: Roxy and Keaton sittin’ in a palm tree…
VINCE DEVLIN: F-A-K-I-I-N-G. Yes I know I spelled it wrong.
CHASE MCKAY: Congrats and keep your hands to yourself, KB
ME: What, these hands?
AIMEE MCKAY: Awww, their emojis match!
BERNIE FARMER: Do you have any thoughts on the matter that you’d like to share with the group, dear husband?
MATT MCGOVERN: I’m literally sitting right next to you, darling wife. Why don’t you just ask me with your sweet voice?
BERNIE FARMER: Because you’re staring at your phone. This is how Matt feels about it, you guys:
MATT MCGOVERN: I am in fact delighted by and for the adorable fake couple.
ROXY CARTER: I hate all of you.
ME: Oh honey, you don’t mean that.
ROXY CARTER: Especially you, Bridges.
AIMEE MCKAY: So cute. We have to board now guys. See you there!!!!!
I cannot fucking wait to get some quality time with those people.
Now I just have to get Oiled-up Shower Roxy out of my head before I go into my meeting and before I pick her up in a couple of hours.
I have not been able to get Oiled-up Shower Roxy out of my head for the past two hours. I don’t even know what I said in that meeting, and I’ve already forgotten who I was meeting with. My brain is a dick. All of a sudden, I’m glad it’s so cold in New York, because Roxy emerges from her building all covered-up with winter clothes. Layers of clothes. So many layers of clothes between me and her naked, probably not oiled-up or wet body.
I step out of the back seat of the car, and I’m greeted with a classic frown.
“Good day,” I say.
“Good day,” she mutters.
When Manny comes around to take her luggage, she presents him with all of the warmth and smiles that she’s withholding from me.
