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Wes
“Well, Maybe It’s Worth It”
I think it’s safe to say this past work week has been the most fun and frustrating work week of my life. Fun because Lily is a delightful and surprisingly hard-working little minx, and frustrating because Lily is a devious and surprisingly hard-working little minx. It takes a lot to wear me out, but I could have used a real day off today. She’s been heading out to the Saint Mary’s theater straight from the office and then coming to my place after, somehow with even more energy than before the rehearsals. She’s just so damned happy and fulfilled—and grateful—that I can’tnotfuck her for the rest of the night.
Now it’s Saturday, and I’d already promised to help my dad finish off the gazebo with some staining. Lily is still at rehearsal, and as much as I love having her around, I do need this time to catch up with my dad.
“So,” he says, from the other side of the gazebo. “You and Lily. Here and now.”
“Finally and all of a sudden.”
“Whaddya know.” He smiles, that crinkly-eyed smile of his. “Happy for you. Enjoy it.”
“I am. We are. She’s changed so much, almost overnight.”
“Like a flower that was waiting for the right circumstances to bloom.”
“Exactly. And I’m so glad I waited for her. I don’t know… I think it really is a good thing that I let her go off and become this person she needed to be.” I glance over at my dad, who knows what I’m talking about more than anyone. “How areyou? The ladies of the neighborhood still keeping you busy?”
“Oh, you know. It’s nice to have the company.” As much as my dad likes to grill me about my personal life, that’s about as much as he’ll ever say about his.
We’re both quiet for a few minutes before I say, “I’ve been thinking about Mom a lot lately.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Do you? Still think about her?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think about getting in touch with her?”
He sighs. “I wonder what she’s like now. I wonder if she’s found what she was looking for in life. I’m still a little pissed off that that meant more to her than being there for you. But I can’t really be mad at her for being who she is, either. I want her to know you. See how well you’re doing. But I’ll never want her to come back unless it’s what she wants. And obviously, I don’t know what it would be like for us now or that there could ever be an ‘us’ again. I guess, in a way, not knowing keeps her closer. You know?”
“Yeah. I definitely know.”
“And I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. I just know we’re fine. You and I. Right?”
“Yeah. I mean, I am.You’rea mess.”
He laughs. “Well, we can’t all be secretly dating the boss’s daughter now, can we?”
I shush him. “I think he’s coming home today.”
“You gonna let him know what’s up?”
“Hell no. Not yet anyway. Maybe in a year. I just can’t get a read on him.”
“I think all dads are more simple than you might imagine. Even Jay.”
Just as I’m about to ask my dad what he means by that, I get a tingling in the back of my neck and I know that Lily is approaching. All of my senses are heightened now that they’re allowed to experience her.
“Hello, Carver men.” I can tell from her sing-song voice that she’s feeling youthful from being around kids, but it still has the raspy flirtatious undercurrent that has taunted me ever since she first said “hey” to me, not far from where we’re standing now.
“Hello, Barnes lady,” my dad says with a wink.
“You home already?” I try to sound like I’m not totally thrilled to see her again, because I am.
“For an hour or so, and then I’m going back for a production meeting.” She raises her eyebrows at me, and I know she’s wondering if my dad knows about us.
