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The next morning, I pack up my oversize business lady shoulder bag with the essentials: personal and company phones, company iPad, laptop, pens and notepad, two handbooks on commercial real estate investment, breath mints, cosmetics bag, tasteful lingerie, two changes of panties, one nearly-expired strip of condoms, and an envelope that I’ve been keeping in a sealed zip-loc bag for about five years.
It’s just lady business as usual around here…
When I get to the office, I go out of my way to walk past my father’s office so I can wave at his assistant Tina while pretending to have a serious conversation with someone on my company cell phone. In case my father ever asks her if she’s seen me around. I do the same thing, strolling past every single office door except Dan’s at the end of the hall. Then I go into Wes’s empty office, close the door, inhale the waterproof jacket he keeps on a coat rack, and touch every surface so I can get his sexy dead skin cell dust all over me. Then I settle in at my desk by eight thirty and review my To-Do list for the day.
At about ten thirty, after corresponding with Wes via email a few times, I get a call on my office line, from his company cell phone.
“This is Lily,” I say into the phone, solemnly, while gently stroking the phone cord with my fingers.
“Hi,” he says in an impatient, hushed voice. “I need you to drive down to the resort as soon as you can.”
“What’s wrong?”
“My husband and wife clients from San Francisco are having a disagreement now about the property. I strongly believe that this is the best investment opportunity for them in the area, but the wife is worried it isn’t glamorous enough.” He sounds mildly exasperated. “It’s Southern Oregon. Nothing is glamorous here. This place is beautiful, and it’s exactly what they need to balance out their portfolio, and they’d be crazy not to buy it now. I need you to pique her interest. Just say you’re bringing paperwork you need me to sign right away. Talk the place up. But don’t be obvious about it.”
“Uh, you’re talking to a professional actress who has been paid to sell car insurance and cell phones to a nation of horny young men. I got this.”
“Yeah well, Patty Triplett is not a horny young man. Do some research on the location before you come down.”
“Already have. What’s she like?”
“She’s a very conservative high-net-worth investor. She wants to invest in Oregon because it’s cheaper than California, but I think she’s hoping for more of a Marin County vibe.”
“I mean what’s she like as a person?”
“I don’t know. Nice enough. You’ll see.”
“Yeah, I need some background information. Where are they from? Do they have kids? What’s she wearing? What’s her hair like? Is she wearing lipstick and heels? How does she talk? Does she swear? Does she have a sense of humor? I need an angle to work with.”
He’s silent for a moment, and then he says, “What are you? A grifter?”
I roll my eyes. “I am a student of humanity. Describe her to me, as best you can. Start with her hair.”
After about three minutes of me grilling him, I say, “Got it. Be there within half an hour.”
I am busy adding a file folder to my shoulder bag and rearranging things so it will all fit. I’m holding two pairs of panties when I hear a man clear his throat and look up to see Dan from the Brokerage Department in the doorway.
“Oh hello,” I say.
“Well, hello,” he says as he saunters in.
I shove the underwear to the bottom of the bag and hoist the bag up over my shoulder.
“I was just checking to see if you wanted to have lunch with me today.”
“Oh, thanks,” I say, “but I’m actually just heading out of the office for a while. I have to get down to Ashland to meet up with Wes and some clients.”
He furrows his brow. “Really? He needs you there?”
“Yeah, I just have to get him these papers to sign.” I walk past him. “Is there anything else you need? Because they’re expecting me.”
He walks out of the office with me and down the hall. “I thought I saw you Saturday night.”
“Oh yeah?” I say. “Cool. I’ll see you later.”
“Let me know if you’re back by lunch!” he calls out after me.
I pretend to answer a call on my phone so he’ll think I didn’t hear him.
I don’t hear him. All I hear is Wes saying, “I’m gonna give you all the company you can handle when you’re ready for it.”
I’m ready for it, Wes. Heaven help you, I just hope you can handle me.
