Page 75 of Come Back to Bed
A few seconds later, he sends back an emoji of a high heel shoe.
I have no idea what that means. Other than the fact that he said he never uses emojis and he just used one. I keep staring at the door, as if he’s going to walk back through it, but he doesn’t.
“I saw him leave,” Tommy says, as he wraps his arm around my waist. “Did you blow it?”
I shrug my shoulders. I wish I could run after him. I wish I could call him and tell him—what? Tell him that I wish he hadn’t left? That I’d like to swing by his apartment and bang him when I get back if he’s up for that? That I might not be as easy like Sunday morning as I thought?
“Come sit with me for a second, before I go.” Tommy ushers me over to a booth and huddles with me.
“You’re leaving?” I ask. “We haven’t hung out yet.”
“That’s what we’re doing right now, kid. This is it.”
“Did you meet any nice hot gay guys?”
He adjusts his collar. “You know I don’t like ‘em nice.”
I nod. “I miss you.” I rest my head on his shoulder. “Sorry I suck at having a social life.”
“I miss you too. I’m sorry you suck at pretending you’re not in love with your neighbor.”
I try to scoff at that, but it comes out like a sad squeak.
In a rare moment of seriousness, my best friend leans his head against mine and places both hands on top of my hands. He speaks just loud enough so that I can hear him.
“I just happened to see Matt’s face when he came out of the men’s room and saw the S-word fondling you.”
“He wasn’t fondling me!” I hiss.
“He may as well have been. Sexy Face Magee wants to be your guy. I saw it in his eyes. The fact that he left tells me that he still thinks you’re obsessed with your boss and he’s giving you space.”
“Shit.”
“You’re always wanting your space.”
I nod.
“I’ve been thinking…Maybe it’s not your boss that you were so enamored with. Maybe it’s being a work-wife. You know, all that relationship-y stuff you do for him, that feels safe to you because it’s just work. Because it’s not a real relationship. But maybe what you actually want, or I don’t know—dare I sayneed—is to actually be in a real relationship. Not like the one your parents have, but the kind you want. With a guy who wants you. Not because he wants you to be a buffer between him and the world, but because he likes the world better with you in it.”
I turn my head to check to see if Tommy is trying not to laugh. He is. He’s such a shit. He bursts out laughing and holds up his hands when I start pummeling him. “Okay but I actually meant what I said, I swear!”
“Get out of here. Go to your ten other parties and say ‘hi’ to all the cool people for me.” I kiss him on the cheek. He does get me, even if he is a turd. “Be safe.”
“Be bold and live with love,” he says, as he scoots out of the booth. “And bang your hot neighbor, hard and often, until you’re no longer afraid to be his girlfriend.” He pounds his chest twice, flashes me a peace sign and then he’s out the door.
Those just might be words to live by. If I can just make it through the rest of the night.
