Page 74 of Come Back to Bed
I slam the glass back down on the bar. Sebastian is standing so much closer to me than he ever has before. Even when we rode the subway together once at rush hour, he’s always maintained a reasonable distance. I can actually smell the vodka on his breath.
“Hi. Areyou? I mean, sure yes. People seem to be having fun, right? Is everything good? Is there anyone you need me to call?”
“All is well, Bernadette.”
“Okay. Good.”
“You look very nice tonight.”
“Oh.” I straighten myself up. “Thank you. So do you.”
He laughs to himself. “Is Matt your boyfriend?”
“Who—thatMatt? Matt McGovern? No, that’s just Matt.” Saying the words ‘just Matt’ makes me hate myself a little.Oh, it’s just an original Picasso from his Blue Period. Oh that? That’s just a first edition copy of The Catcher in the Rye signed by the author.Why do I feel the need to shield Sebastian from the truth? Or is it myself that I’m lying to? “My neighbor. He’s my temporary neighbor.”
“Yes, Matt the neighbor.”
“He invited himself tonight—I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, of course I don’t mind. I’m grateful to him for looking out for you when you were sick.”
“Oh, right. That was…yeah. He’s a good friend.”
Sebastian puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, meaningfully. I’m not exactly sure what he means, but it’s definitely a meaningful squeeze. He shakes his head.
“Sometimes I wish there was more I could do for you…”
His hand still on my shoulder, his thumb strokes me there in tiny upward movements.
What. Is. Happening?
I’m staring up at him like an idiot. “What do you mean?”
He sighs. “Bernadette. Do you really not know what I mean? Do you really not know what you mean to me?”
My eyes lower for a second, and it’s enough to make him hesitate and take his hand away.
“Forgive me. It’s that dress. It’s the hair. It’s this warm June night. It’s the vodka. It’s the neighbor.”
Bingo. It’s the neighbor.
I look around and freeze when I see Matt the neighbor watching us from across the room, by the door. He doesn’t look sad, or mad, or confused, he just looks like he’s leaving. He gives me a little nod, a little salute, before walking out.
“I don’t know why,” Sebastian continues, totally unaware that all my focus has shifted to the front door and the sudden chill in the air now that Matt has actually left without me. “I really don’t know why, but this year has been weighing on me. The divorce, sure, but the work just seems so labored lately, and New York feels so…”
I snap my attention back to him. “Your work is as wonderful as it always is, Sebastian. Maybe you need a vacation.”
“Yes,” he says. “Exactly. You get me. I need to get away.”
“Sebastian, my good man,” says Anita, from behind me. “If you need to get away you should go to the luxury hot spring spa I went to in Japan. It’s in a darling village in the Ishikawa prefecture. I swear, it’s so beautiful you’d just shit yourself.”
Sebastian laughs and slaps his forehead.
Anita widens her eyes at me, like: “Girl this is your chance to escape, why are you still here?”
I do like this woman. Even though she wants to hump my neighbor.
I sneak away to send Matt a text:You left? Are you going home?
