Page 58 of Come Back to Bed
14
Matt
It’s dark when I wake up, but the hallway light is on.
I smell vanilla and lavender and something, so I reach around for Bernadette.
“You here?” I whisper.
No response.
“Anyone? Daisy?”
I can hear Daisy snoring in her doggy bed on the floor by the foot of my bed.
“Text me if you need anything,” I remember her saying.
I have no idea what time it was when she left, but it’s eleven-thirty now, and I feel like I’m waking up after a year-long nap. My ankle’s fine. There’s a dull ache, nothing I can’t handle. I’m thirsty and awake, and exceptionally horny. I’m feeling that dull ache all over. I switch on the bedside lamp. There’s a big bottle of water on the table, right next to the book I’ve been reading. Shit, I would have hidden that if I’d known she was coming over. It’s dumb to want to hide that I’m reading her favorite book, but I have a feeling it would make her uncomfortable.
She has written on the top Post-it note of the stack I keep on the table.
Don’t get up unless you use your crutches! Promise me. I just walked Daisy, she’s been fed, I’ll be back in the morning to take her to daycare on my way to work. Get some rest.
p.s. I bought prune juice (in kitchen) in case the Percocet makes you constipated xx
Well,that’ssexy.
She’s thoughtful, though.
I have vague memories of saying things that I never would have said to her if I weren’t under the influence of a controlled substance. Perhaps I’m still under the influence, because I don’t regret it. I just wish I could remember exactly what I said and how she responded.
There’s a lot that I wish I could say to her right now, things I wouldn’t say or write to her.
I sit up and look around.
I remove the pencil that I was using to hold my place in the book, and start writing down what I’m feeling, in a secret place.
I may never be able to say these things out loud to her, but I want to get them out while I’m feeling them.
Thank you.
You’re so fucking hot.
You’re good in bed.
You’re good out of bed.
I think about you all the time.
I like thinking about you.
I’m glad I met you.
I don’t know if it would have been better if we’d met years earlier, or months later, but I’m glad I know you now.
I want to know more about you.
I want you to know more about me
