Page 42 of Come Back to Bed
She punches my bicep. “No. And what makes you think I listen toyouthrough the vent?”
“You obviously listen to me when I’m in the bedroom, or else you would have told me about this acoustic situation when I moved in.”
She grins. “First of all—I don’t listen to you so much as I happen to be able to hear you. And secondly—it’s very cute when you sing with Daisy. Thirdly…you aren’t half as smart as you think you are.”
“Maybe not. But you like me twice as much as you think you do.”
“Oh yeah? How much do you like me?”
“Exactly as much as I think I do. Despite everything, I think I’m attracted to you and I think you’re attracted to me, and I propose that you and I engage in casual relations with each other. For now, and until it is no longer convenient or fun for either or both of us. This way I don’t have to be away from Daisy for too long, so she won’t pee on my aunt’s hardwood floors, and your walk of shame will only take five seconds. Everybody wins.”
“I don’t spend the night with guys that I…do that with.”
“Even better. Daisy doesn’t like to share.”
“You mean she doesn’t like to shareme.”
“Now let’s get one thing straight, Bernie.”
“Don’t call me Bernie.”
“This arrangement would be between you and me. Daisy is off the table.”
“Okay, but that whole conversation we just had earlier, about your girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend.”
“Ex-girlfriend. We wouldn’t be able to have that kind of talk anymore. I don’t want to hear about her.”
“I’m the one who didn’t want to talk to you about her.”
“This isn’t about being right or wrong here, Esquire.”
“You’re right.”
She seems to be equal parts exasperated, flustered and turned-on. I do have that effect on women, but it looks good on her. There’s a lot of energy to be tapped into and I am beyond ready to tap that.
Just when it feels like she’s about to lean in and let that energy loose again, the phone in her back pocket starts vibrating again.
We both lower our heads and exhale.
“Sorry, I have to…”
“Go ahead.” I step away from her.
She looks at her phone. “Shit, it’s his agent. That means he called his agent in a panic and now his agent is panicking.”
“Take it. It’s fine.”
It’s pretty clear that it’s not at all fine. She looks down and covers her mouth when she notices the astonishing bulge in my pants.
“Oh God. Sorry! So sorry!” she whispers, as she runs out of the room and up the stairs.
I wait three minutes before taking my laundry back upstairs.
The no-strings concept is still quietly floating around in the air out there, somewhere between us, like a paper airplane. It may never land, could very well get crumpled up in her smooth capable hands, or burst into flames if she decides to light a match and toss a few incendiary words at me. As much as I enjoy the back and forth, I’m not sure how much more of it I can take. One more kiss like that and my life is ruined.
I’ve decided it’s probably best to treat my disillusioned body to an ice-cold shower and call it a night, when I hear a quiet knock at the front door. When I open it, no one is there, but I find a folded piece of paper taped to it. On the outer fold of the paper she has scrawled the words:Didn’t want to slide this under the door in case Daisy gets to it before you do…
