Page 28 of Come Back to Bed
I am safe at home, I write back.
Although, my heart is still pounding in my chest.
Normally, I would attribute that to the message from Sebastian.
It really was sweet of him to think of me.
But I am fully aware that it was Matt who made my body wake up tonight, in the dark, next to his.
It feels like the power hasn’t just returned to my apartment—it’s back on inside of me too. I may have imagined the electricity between us, but I feel a surge of desire to draw him, or at least to sketch out the images that he inspires. This is the first time I’ve drawn something besides trees in years. It’s my appreciation of his physical landscape that demands expression now.
I sketch quickly, not wanting to lose this feeling, trying to capture the outline of him in the darkness. I flip the page and find myself frantically drawing two figures—a man and a woman about to kiss. They’re standing still but the rapidity of the strokes gives the impression of motion. That’s how it felt for me, for a few seconds. Like we were headed somewhere spectacular, even though we weren’t moving.
Just as I don’t want to stop to think about where I’d want things to go with Matt McGovern, I don’t want to do any more work on this sketch. I flip the page, letting my hand tell the story without allowing my brain to get in the way, but after a few more drawings, both my brain and my body need both of my hands for something else…
