Page 9 of Hello Darling

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Oh my God, I’m ten. I’m a ten year-old tomboy again and I just want to beat that guy in dodgeball. I want to hurl rubber balls and words at him to eliminate him but also kiss him on the mouth maybe a little first.

My brother looks up from his phone and observes me in a way that he’s only done a few times in my life.

I immediately feel uncomfortable and defensive.

“What?”

He smirks. “Nothin’. He’s good-looking, huh?”

“If you like that sort of thing.”

“Good thing you don’t.”

“Good thing I don’t. The whole package, with the blue eyes and pretty lips and the accent and being nice. It’s too much. He’s like those enormous chocolate chunk cookies they sell at the Costco bakery that are the size of your head. With the pecans? Remember I got a box of them once for all of us? We were so excited because they look amazing but they were so thick and chewy we could only stomach like half of one and anyway it made me feel sick and I never bought them again. Too much.”

“That is not a good analogy.”

“Yes it is. Your judgment is impaired by your man crush.”

“Maybe so. I can’t believe that girl dumped him.”

“What girl?”

“Some young actress, starlet, whatever you wanna call her. I forget her name—Mrs. Flauvich was talking about it. Dumped him for one of those boyband guys. According to the internet, he’s heartbroken. That’s probably why he’s here early, I bet. To get away from the paparazzi. What, you didn’t hear about that? Everyone’s talking about it.”

My eyes sting. “I am such an asshole.”

“You just realizing this?”

“Shut up. Here.” I grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge under the reception desk. “Give him this.”

Billy holds the bottle up with one hand, and with the other he gestures towards me like a game show hostess. “Ladies and gentlemen. She’s not an asshole anymore.”

Evan Hunter must think I’m such a jerk! The whole starlet thing. I can’t even believe I was so sassy with a new client. He was friendly and kind to me from the get-go and I was a non-stop cheeky turd beast.

Honestly, this is not like me. I blame the Halloween hangover. Next time he speaks to me, I’ll be super nice to him. Probably. I hope.