Page 70 of Hello Darling
Stella takes my hand and pulls me towards the smaller version of this house, towards the back end of the property.
“Whit’s a good friend. I figured he would have signed an NDA or something about the rental, so I didn’t tell him I was seeing you, because then it would have been hard for him to not say anything and blah blah blah.”
“That’s very considerate of you, but I honestly don’t care about those NDAs, they’re something my business managers and lawyers like to hand out because they think they’re protecting me. From what, I’m not sure.”
“You don’t have stalkers?”
“Not exactly, no. I’ve been pretty lucky in that way so far.”
She curls her arm around mine and leans in against me as we walk. “I hope you stay lucky.”
“I hope I get lucky tonight.”
“I dunno. I’ve never had intimate relations with another person while my cat’s around.” She pulls a heavy ring of keys out from her coat pocket and opens the front door. “We’d have to be as still and quiet as possible.” She waggles her marvelous eyebrows. “You up for the challenge?”
“Try me,” I say, finding myself getting up for it already.
Stella switches on a light, illuminating a small but lovely kitchen and a lovely but large cat who’s sitting in the middle of it, staring up at us, as if it has been waiting for her there for hours.
“Awww, hey baby,” Stella says as she crouches down to kiss it. “This is my Muffin Top. This is a man. A nice man. So be nice to him.” The cat continues to sit there and stare up at me.
She is white with ginger markings and she is not quite the fattest cat I’ve ever seen, but her fluffy face is so cute I immediately want to hold it in my hands and kiss it. This is not my usual response to felines. Truth is, I usually respond by sneezing, but if Stella can overcome her indifference to English actors, I can overcome a mild allergy to cat hair.
“Hello, Muffin Top. What do you say?” I kneel down slowly and hold my hand out for her to sniff, which she does, cautiously, before nudging it to pat her on the head. If only it had been this easy with her mummy.
I spent the night.
Being in bed with this woman is fantastic, but waking up in her bed, once the sun finally reveals itself and I can see out the bedroom window…Christ. What a view. Different from the one at my rental house, but just as lovely. Both of my delightful bedmates are still sleeping, one with her back to me, and one has made herself comfortable, curled up on top of the puffy white comforter, between my legs. I’d prefer it if Stella were the one between my legs, but Muffin Top is very warm and sweet.
However, that’s not the view I’m referring to. The foot of Stella’s bed is pushed up against the wall with the window, and with my head propped up on two down pillows, I can see out the picture window down to the shore, where a family of deer are currently frolicking about. Deer. Frolicking on the beach. What strange paradise is this?
This is her window to the world, and I completely understand why she is satisfied with this view alone. I suppose if I woke up to this every day I wouldn’t have much desire to go anywhere else either…It’s just that Ihaveto go other places. Always. And I like having her with me. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to have both.
She stirs, and the cat gets up, stretches, and climbs over me to snuggle with her. “Morning,” she says to Muffin Top. “Oh hello,” she says to me. “There’s a man in our bed,” she murmurs to the cat.
“It’s a very nice bed,” I say, turning my face away from the cat’s bum.
“Thanks for not snoring or kicking me or hogging the covers.”
“I do sleep like a proper Englishman.”
She manages to move the cat to the side and sit up, looking out the window. “Oh, the deer!”
“Is that a regular occurrence?”
“Oh yes. Some would say we have a deer problem around here, but I love them. Don’t see them as often this time of year, of course, but…yeah. Deer on the beach. Otters crossing the street. That’s my town.”
“I like it.”
“Good…Can I ask you a favor?”
“Yes, but my jaw is still sore from the favor I did for you last night, so don’t expect as high caliber a performance this morning.”
“Actually, this one doesn’t involve my vagina.”
“Intriguing. But also boring. Do go on.” I prop myself up on one arm.
“There are a few people I know who would really appreciate an autographed photo of you…Can I give you a list? I assume that’s something your assistant does for you?”
