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We walked hand-in-hand and I told her about the time I came here with my parents. It was our last family vacation before everything changed between them. My Dad seemed almost desperate to show us a good time. It was so unexpected when, a few months later, he started staying in a hotel. As I walked down the path with Gemma, I realized that he had already met the woman that he’d eventually leave my Mom for, but was fighting to make himself stay, to start over and make everything new again. When you’re aware that something might be ending, you cling to it in a way that you wouldn’t if you completely trusted that it would go on forever.
I had been so angry with my Dad for years, but I understood him better now.
I just hoped that I would learn how to hold onto what I had with Gemma in a way that would work for both of us, and as always, I had to work on it with both my body and my mind.
There was no one else around this area. When we reached the edge of the cliff, I dropped my backpack, pulled out the towels, pulled off my shirt and shoes and socks. With this girl we had to do new things before she could talk herself out of it. “Here’s what we’re gonna do,” I said. “We’re gonna jump off this cliff into the lake.”
“Um. No.”
I was in full-on Jedi mode. She was going to do this with me. “I did this when I was a kid, it’s really fun. The water’s from a glacier, so it’ll be a bit cold but refreshing.” I ignored her glare and grabbed her arm as she started to turn away. “It’s only a forty-two foot drop, and the water is plenty deep, there are no rocks below, nothing you could hit on the way down. Be confident. Visualize yourself doing it first. Jump feet first, keep your body tight, toes stretched, arms close to your body.” I pulled off her shirt, and she let me. She removed her shorts, but made her reluctance known with her very articulate facial expressions and body language. She was game, but as with everything else I’ve persuaded her to do over the years, she wasn’t going to play without resisting first. “Remember to breathe out through your nose after you hit the water. I promise we’ll relax and feel amazing after this. You with me?”
She looked over the edge. “Sure. But how do we get back up here for our stuff?”
“Good question. There’s a path back up, it’s not steep.”
She nodded and gave me the thumbs up.
“I’ll go first, and I’ll be there waiting for you if you panic.”
She smiled. Every now and then, I said the right thing, and that smile of hers made me feel like the king of the world. I grabbed her face and kissed her, then took five steps back, ran and jumped off of that cliff.
For a second I was flying, and it was exactly how it felt to finally let myself fall in love with my favorite person in the world—exhilarating but familiar like a dream, a beautiful release. The shocking embrace of cold water that followed made me feel so awake and alive, and the only thing better than experiencing it myself was knowing that Gemma was about to experience the same thing.
When I sprung up for air, I shook my head and wiped my eyes and saw her looking down at me.
“You ready?” I called up, as I swam a safe distance away.
“Now?”
“Now!”
She disappeared for a second, and then I held my breath and watched as she took a powerful leap off of the edge and into the air with perfect form. She came crashing into the water six feet from me, barely making a splash because she had done exactly as I told her to do, her body was straight as an arrow. When she surfaced, we swam towards each other and she covered my face with wet smiling kisses.
“Thank you!” she yelled out, and it echoed across the lake. “Thank you thank you thank you.” She was breathless again, and we floated on our backs, holding hands, and we were young and happy and carefree and we were rocking that honeymoon and I was proud of us. I knew that I’d go back to that lake with her, over and over again, if only in my memory. No matter what happened.
After returning to the cliff and drying off, we retrieved the take-out food from the hotel restaurant and lounged on a dock at the edge of the water. We weren’t alone, but it wasn’t crowded. It was sunny and peaceful and we were so content we barely spoke.
Because she jumped into a lake with me, I offered to browse a home décor shop in Whistler Village with her. She posted pictures on Instagram, and I actually enjoyed watching her examine items with an expert eye. I offered to buy her whatever she wanted, but she declined. She didn’t say it, but she still wasn’t completely sure where she’d be living. I tried not to let it ruin my mood.
* * *
I suppose I wasn’t so good at hiding the fact that my mood had changed, but once we got back to the room, Gemma was determined to make things up to me in a way that I was not expecting.
I had unwittingly slammed the door to the mini-bar shut when I took out a bottle of water, and then placed the bottle on top of the counter with a little more force than necessary. I turned to her, frowning, and found her with both hands on her hips, studying me.
“What?”
“I’ll show you what,” she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the bedroom. She pulled my shorts down, pushed me down onto the edge of the bed, and kneeled on the floor between my legs, licking her lips as she looked up at me. I was instantly hard, and when I watched her contemplate my cock while she cupped my balls with one hand, I knew that she was going into this with the intention of doing it right. I was about to ask her to marry me again, but when she started licking my shaft, I forgot how to speak.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that the whole universe had suddenly been distilled down to my intense erection and the unbearable pleasure that her hands and mouth were awarding it. I felt worshipped and desired and accepted and nurtured, but she was totally in command. I had always loved her messy wavy hair, but looking down at it like that, while she was doingthatto me…Fucking bliss. I was grabbing fistfuls of it, while she managed to stimulate every single one of my hot spots with her soft, warm, wet mouth and gentle but firm fingers.
Talk about not being aware of time. I have no idea how long it lasted, but she wanted me to come in her mouth, and I just remember feeling so good and grateful afterwards that it scared me. As an adult, I had never felt like another person had so much control over me, or that I could lose control of myself because of it.
I had collapsed onto my back. She climbed up on top of me, wiping her swollen lips with the back of her hand, and I reached out for her. I reached for her hand, I placed my fingertips on her mouth.Who are you? What did you just do to me?
“How?” was all I could manage to say, at first.
“How what?”
