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I had to check my recent calls list to confirm that it was, in fact, Theo Walker who had just called me, because that was nothing at all like our previous phone conversations.
I grabbed a bottle of water and paced around for thirty seconds before texting Chloe. I had been sending her and Ethan pics of their new living and dining room arrangement for the past couple of hours, but apparently my message conveyed distress nonetheless.
Me: Hey! How’s your day?!
Chloe: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing?! Just checking in. I love your place. Thanks so much for letting me stay here and post this stuff on Instagram.
Chloe: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing
Chloe: Gem I don’t have all day I’m in a meeting
Me: Should you be texting in a meeting?
Chloe: It’s an industrial design firm not the White House
Me: Fine. I can’t do this.
She didn’t even have to ask what I was talking about.
Chloe: Yes you can.
Me: I don’t know if I can handle it.
Chloe: Yes you can. You’d be surprised how much the vaginal walls can stretch.
I nearly spat out my water.
Chloe: Mother Nature wants us to accommodate big dicks. #survivalofthefittest
I placed my water bottle down on the counter, because I didn’t want to choke to death before finding out if that was true.
Me: I think I saw that on a bumper sticker once…Can you meet me at Nordstrom?
Chloe: YES.
Me: I didn’t say when.
Chloe: I can ALWAYS meet you at Nordy.
Me: I might need help picking out an outfit.
Chloe: FOR A DATE WITH THEO?! I WILL HELP YOU PICK OUT THE SLUTTIEST OUTFIT IN LA!
Chloe: Which would basically be naked with the word SLUT written in red lipstick across your tits.
Me: That doesn’t sound like me. Maybe pink lipstick.
Chloe: LOL
Me: Okay but I don’t want to make a big deal out of this because I’m already nervous. I will not wear a slutty outfit.
Chloe: Fine…
She didn’t send another text for a couple of minutes, and in those two minutes I almost convinced myself that I should text Theo and tell him I wouldn’t be able to make it to the party.
