Page 56 of Green
13
Theo
Iwas working at my desk in my room when I realized that Gemma was in the house, late at night a few days after I’d driven out to see her. I was wearing sweatpants, which is to say that I was innocently shirtless, and hadn’t even heard her when she got in. I hadn’t received a call or text from her since I’d left her hotel room, and made good on my promise to wait until she was ready to talk, even though I knew they had the wrap party for the film last night. I mostly trusted that she wouldn’t get drunk and straddle Ben or anyone else.
I checked my phone to see if she’d announced her presence at all, and indeed, she had texted a link to a short video of a gleefully excited yellow lab puppy running and tumbling down a flight of carpeted stairs to greet the person filming it. I would have liked to think that it meant she wasthatexcited to see me, but I knew immediately that she was using my trick, and what would follow was going to be less than good news.
Her bedroom door was closed, and when she came out and saw me in the kitchen, that now-familiarHow Dare You Be Bare-Chested In My Presencelook flashed across her face before being replaced by a look of studied composure. I watched her take a deep breath and saw her lips form the words: “Here we go.”
“Hello,” she said to me, perfunctorily. “Good to see you.”
“Hello,” I replied, matching her tone and manner. “It is good to see you too. Thank you for the video.”
“You are welcome.” She didn’t move from her bedroom doorframe. She clenched her fists and looked as though she was preparing to launch into a big speech, so I didn’t say anything for a bit. After about twenty seconds, it had become clear to me that she wasn’t going to speak yet, so I tried to assuage her by bringing up a neutral topic, from a safe distance.
“So, I was at a conference thing all day today, but yesterday I set something up on the back deck, and I must say, coming home to lay in it for a few minutes was pretty great. Care to give it a try?” I used the app on my phone to turn on the deck lights, which now illuminated the optional hammock that I had installed out there. It hung between the house and a sturdy pole with hooks, so the hammock could be easily removed to make room for chairs.
She gasped and walked over to the patio doors for a closer look, seeming genuinely impressed, but also sad.
“Wow. You did it. Very clever use of space. Well done.”
“Get on in it, I can bring you out a drink.”
“I’d love to. But another time. I…actually just came to get some things.”
I did not like the sound of that, but I maintained my casual stance and let her continue.
“I’m going to stay at Chloe and Ethan’s until I’ve finished breaking down the film set, and then I plan to start looking for my own place when I have time. It shouldn’t take too long.” She finally looked back at me, for a reaction.
“I just don’t see why you need to do that. Or why you’d want to. You can’t afford your own place without a roommate.”
“I can. A small one. In Pasadena, or Burbank.”
“You would live inBurbankjust to get away from me?” I slowly made my way out of the kitchen and leaned against the counter on the dining area side.
“I like Burbank. It reminds me of the rest of America.”
“Can you even afford a nice place in Burbank? I’m not being a dick, I’m really asking. I haven’t looked into rental units in the Valley for a while.”
“I can make any place nice. And yeah, I have some jobs lined-up. Ethan referred me to his colleagues at his architecture firm. I have gigs coming up styling houses for photo spreads, and a real estate staging job.”
I walked towards her, hands in my pockets, encouraged because she wasn’t backing away, but confused about her need to move out. “Okay. I’m happy to hear about the jobs. But why are you doing this? You’re not even going to give us a shot?”
When I was standing a few inches from her, staring down at her, I could tell it took a lot of effort for her to remain so close to me, but she was looking down at my feet. “I’m doing thisbecauseI want to give us a shot, Walker. I can’t look at you when I say this, so don’t make me, okay? Promise?”
She was starting to sound like my Gemma again. “Yeah. Promise.”
Big deep breath in as she stared down at the floor, talking to it instead of me, her hands shoved into the back pockets of her jeans. “I realized I was in love with you very soon after we got married...”
What?
“Not in anI have to have himkind of way, but in ashit I can’t stop thinking about him and he’s my favorite personway.”
I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I never would have labeled that being in love. I felt bad about that as much as I felt relieved and confused, hearing these words from her beautiful lips.
“I was still technically with Andrew. Or I guess I was legally with you, but still secretly with Andrew. I don’t know,” she waved one hand in the air dismissively, “you know what I mean. So it never occurred to me that these feelings I had for you would ever be something I needed to act on because you’ve never shown any interest...”
I started to interject, to reiterate why I hadn’t shown any interest.
