Page 44 of Rebound With Me
“Tell me.”
“Because of the HBO showGirls.”
So many young women have moved here because of that show. I’m not complaining. It’s not what I would have guessed for Nina, but it’s not disappointing either. Usually these girls live in Williamsburg or Greenpoint and work at some hipster coffee place. That she ended up in Carroll Gardens teaching first grade and dating an older principal while wondering what it would be like to be Lena Dunham just makes her uniquely adorable and awesome.
Just when I’m thinking about how there’s something about her that makes me feel like a boy who needs to dance around to impress her and like a man who wants to take care of her at the same time. If I told Dr. Glass this, she would probably shit herself. Not because it’s a good way to feel, but because it’s too soon for this feeling to be real.
Fuck that.
What’s wrong with now?
I’ve waited twenty-eight years for this.
I can’t say that I was looking for it, and maybe I was trying to avoid it, but I know I’ve found something in Nina.
I know what lust feels like. There’s something here on top of that, or beneath it or entwined with it. It’s not about closing a deal with this woman, it’s about opening things up and making something big and beautiful.
Speaking of making something big and beautiful—she turns me around so that I’m leaning back against the railing and she’s pressed up against my chest, looking past me to the view, while her hand slowly reaches down the front of my sweatpants.
I remember the first time I viewed the loft and came up to this roof deck, saw the view and it took my breath away and I instantly knew: Mine.
I have to have this.
But that was nothing compared to the view of Nina’s sweet face as she’s gently stroking me, and the feeling I have of wanting this.
Mine.
