Page 28 of Rebound With Me
“Maybe.”
“Just don’t use those dating apps. Mike Smith’s daughter used one of those apps and ended up dating a sexual predator—this was in Minneapolis. Imagine how many predators live in New York!”
“Dad. I won’t be using dating apps or websites.”
“And don’t go to bars to meet people! Cindy Matthews has a cousin whose daughter met a blind date at a bar in San Diego and he ended up raping her bumhole in an alley.”
“Mom!”Did you just say ‘bumhole?’
“It’s true—they posted about it on Facebook.”
“Oh my God. How awful.”
“Just don’t go out alone at night.”
“Daddy. I’m twenty-seven years old. You have to stop worrying about me.”
“You’re my daughter. I will never stop worrying about you.” His voice catches in his throat. That’s about as emotional as he gets, but I know he feels it.
I get it. I know my Dad is picturing twenty-one year old me curled up in the corner of my closet sobbing and saying that I want to die because my first love broke up with me. He’ll never forget that.
I almost forget it sometimes. I totally forgot about it while Vince was doing amazing things to my body. I started to think about it again this morning when I realized that I could actually like Vince. I started to remember how it felt to be in so much pain from being left by someone that I had loved without reservation. Honestly, it felt kind of good to feel something again. As much as I’d been trying to avoid it for the past six years of my life, it was like being reunited with an old friend.
“Maybe it’s just a phase for Russell. You know. An early mid-life crisis. We should call him. Dad can talk some sense into him.”
“No! God! I don’t want to get back together with Russell. You guys. I wasn’t happy with him.”
“Was he mean to you?”
“No, it wasn’t that, I just…Look, it made sense to be with him when I first moved here, it felt safe and in the context of the school it made sense, but…it’s over. And I’m glad. I’m moving on.”
There is a brief pause on the other end of the line. “Okay. Just don’t move on with an app.”
“I probably definitely won’t. How’s Bun doing?” Change of subject! Bun Affleck is the bunny that I adopted back in Bloomington after he bit a kindergarten student. I couldn’t bring him with me to live in a small apartment, so my parents graciously agreed to look after him when I moved.
“Oh the little dear, he’s very peaceful.”
“You know, Nin, we’re on our way to Florida to meet up with the Robinsons in a couple of days. We could stop by on the way to see you. For a few hours?” My Dad sounds so hopeful.
“Oh that’s a wonderful idea! We’ll just pop over and meet you for a late lunch maybe?”
“No, that’s ridiculous. I mean, I’d love to see you of course, but it’s not worth it for a few hours, and I’m really fine. Really.”
After two more minutes of insisting that I’m fine and trying to get them excited about their trip to Florida, I tell them I have to go.
I don’t tell them that I have to hang up so I can continue thinking about a boy in peace.
I need more hobbies.
Maybe I should get a summer job.
Two days without seeing Vince Devlin.
I touch my fingers to my lips. “How will we survive?”
In some parallel universe, there’s a me who chose to respond to my first broken heart by being courageously reckless and falling in love over and over again, a me who trusted that I didn’t feel so much about my first love that I’d run out of good passionate feelings and had to keep them tucked away for safe-keeping, so that by the time I’m twenty-seven and faced with someone like Vince, I can handle it.
In this one…The world and Brooklyn in particular is an infinitely more sexually-charged and exciting place to live in, now that I know he’s out there in it, but I barely remember how it used to be so easy to breathe or have thoughts that didn’t make my body tingle, before I met him.
