Page 79 of Cocky Nerd
“You what—just tell me. Tell me why he called you, just get it overwith.”
“What are you—I called him. To tell him that I’mengaged.”
“You called him before you calledme?!”
“Can you not…What is wrong with you rightnow?”
“Nothing.Everything.”
“John’s going to be my best man, I needed to ask him about his schedule. Just shut up and listen to me. He’s a mess rightnow.”
“Who?”
“JohnnyBrandt.”
“He’s never amess.”
“He tried to hide it, but I think he’s really sick. I’ve never heard him like thisbefore.”
“What do youmean?”
“He said he has the flu, but I think he’s messed up about you. He told me about the fake-fake relationshipthing.”
“Shit.” I can’t believe he toldhim.
“I’m not saying it’s normal or even that it makes sense, I just get how it would make sense to Johnny. Shortest distance between two points and all that. It doesn’t make the point that he’s trying to get to any less important tohim.”
Isigh.
“You’re beingstubborn.”
Oh so it’s going to be this kind of call.“There’s no scenario where you actually try to look at things from my perspective instead of his, isthere?”
“I get your perspective. We don’t need to discuss your perspective. I’m trying to give you my perspective. On my best friend. Are youlistening?”
I sigh again. “Yes.”
“Johnny is the only true romantic I’ve ever met. Not in the lovey-dovey way, but the way he views the world. He has this universe of ideas and emotions inside of him, he just doesn’t feel confident that he knows how to get them out and into other people’s heads—and no, he’s not anywhere on the autistic spectrum, he’s just…You think he’s ever told me that he cares about me with words? I’ve had a thousand conversations with him where it’s like he’s not even aware that I’m in the room, but he hears everything, he responds when necessary. If I need him, if I ask for anything, he’s there. He’s always been there, whether I ask for help or not, actually. That job I took with the startup, in Austin? They didn’t offer me moving expenses or enough to cover first and last month’s rent. Johnny wired me the money immediately, I never would have asked. Did you know he offered to buy Mom and Dad a house? Of course they wouldn’t let him,but.”
I can’t believe he didn’t tell methat.
“He’s the best possible version of a child of two workaholics. I mean, Mom had to teach him how to make asandwich.”
“Comeon.”
“Well. She had to teach him how to make a decent sandwich, with vegetables in it. Dad taught him how to ride a bike. I taught him aboutsex…”
I inadvertently snort-laugh.
“I mean I told him about the basics, I know he’s surpassed me in that department by now, shut up. I think he learned about girls from being aroundyou.”
I scoff at that, even though I am quietly bawling my eyesout.
“We’re so different. We don’t understand eachother.”
“Yeah. You do. It’s just that you’re both trying to understand each other the wrongway.”
I finally find a Kleenex and blow my nose. “Maybe you should marry John and I’ll marryKatie.”
