Page 76 of Cocky Nerd
Olivia
Thursday
Almost as soon asI got back to San Francisco, I went to a ninety-minute ballet conditioning class, hoping that the familiar ache of quad, hamstring and abdominal muscles would cancel out the unfamiliar ache that has been consumingme.
Itdidn’t.
I didn’t tell anyone about our fight or the arrangement. I told Callie about the ladies room encounter with Montana Reed, and that kept her busy Googling “crazy Montana Reed” and discovering that#crazyhotMontanais a meme. I told Franklin about the sex stuff, and the concept of not ejaculating broke hisbrain.
Now I’m back to working lunch shifts at therestaurant.
I didn’t reply to John’s texts asking where I am, or when he wrote to tell me that he was on his way home yesterday. I still don’t know what to say. It feels like we had something that could have been great and we blew it. Maybe fucking each other has made him dumber and me more uptight and socially-inept.
I’m at the bar waiting for a drink order when I see him on the sidewalk. Dark hair the color of my favorite old Led Zeppelin T-shirt, the one I will never get rid of. The first thing I feel is relief. The second thing I feel is butterflies. The third thing I feel is mild rage. He is on the phone, of course. Women turn their heads as they pass by, checking out his butt. I die a little inside, at the thought of anyone else grabbing onto it. I have to retreat to the restroom, to prepare to facehim.
Franklin knocks on the door.“Your boyfriend’s waiting for you in your section.” I hear him say “lucky slut” under hisbreath.
John looks tired. It stops me in my tracks. He’s still wretchedly handsome, but there are dark circles under his eyes. I can see that, despite his glasses. Just when I thought I was used to the idea of being surprised by him, he knocks me on my ass with something totally unexpected. John Brandt lookshumbled.
“Hey TinyDancer.”
“Hello.”
“Is it okay that I’mhere?”
“It’s a public restaurant, I can’t stop you from coming here. Did you hire the matchmakingservice?”
“No.”
“Good. Don’t you have meetings and workstuff?”
“I had Sanjay rescheduleeverything.”
“You didnot.”
“I did. We pushed everything back aweek.”
“Why?”
“So I can be around foryou.”
I don’t say anything. I can’t sayanything.
“I’msorry.”
“Good.”
“I missyou.”
“I’m still mad atyou.”
“Okay. Can I come backtomorrow?”
“Okay.”
He leaves a twenty-dollar bill on the table, kisses my cheek, andleaves.
Friday
