Page 56 of Cocky Nerd
He blinks and doesn’t move. It’s an arrogantblink.
I continue. “Because of the highly developed supplementary motor cortex part of my brain, which handles the coordination of the muscles in my limbs, and because the shortest distance between two objects is a straight line, the kinetic energy that will be transferred from my fist to your face imparts undissipated shock energy—you’re a trained dancer, surely you understand kinematicchains?”
Blankstare.
“No? Would you like me to explain it? Because when I’m done explaining why I’ll be punching you with more than just the velocity and force of my fist, I am going to actually do it, because I’m already sick of looking at your shitty arrogant face and I am really really pissed that you just treated my girl that way, you unclassy moronicdickhead.”
One more blink, and he steps back, his shoulders slump. He holds his hands up in surrender. I remain in the samestance.
“Sorry, O. Just pissed that you didn’t want to see me,whatever.”
She nods at him, then reaches for me. I lower my fist. “Would you like me to have my driver drop you off at home?” Ioffer.
He shakes his head and walks off. “Fuck you,nerd.”
“Guess not,” I say. I salute the limo driver. “Enjoy the rest of your night,sir.”
She doesn’t sayanything until we get into the elevator. “Three things: I am so sorry that happened. I’m so embarrassed that he was acting like that—he’s never been like that before. And what you did was so badass, I apologize for ever making fun of you and mybrother.”
“For everything, or just the way we decided to protectyou?”
“Just that. I have no regrets about making fun of you for everythingelse.”
“That’s three? Those are the three things you’re apologizingfor?”
“Yes. Those are thethree.”
“Okay. Three things,” I say. “You don’t have to apologize for that happening, and you definitely shouldn’t be embarrassed about hisbehavior.”
“I just—I don’t want you to think I was obsessed with such a gross asshat. I’d never go out with someone who says ‘Yo, O.’” Sheshudders.
“It doesn’t reflect badly on you, only on him. I mean, it reflects really badly on him. What a grossasshat.”
“So gross! What’s the thirdthing?”
“The third thing is that I was counting on him getting bored of my nerd speech and leaving, because the truth is, without training and practice, it’s pretty much impossible to do martial arts moves with an understanding of physicsalone.”
“Well, you sure fooledme.”
We’rein our pajamas in bed, after another impossibly expensive room service order, because as always we barely ate the gala food. I’m messaging Sanjay, and she’s reading a dancer’s blog on her iPad, and I would be happy finishing off every day like this for the rest of my life. When she puts down her iPad, I let Sanjay know that I’m done for the night and put my laptop on the floor. When I turn to her, you’d think from the expression on her face that I just lassoed the moon and handed it to her on a silverplatter.
“Thanks,” shesays.
“Pleasure. Hey, who is KennedyOnPointe, anyway? Is she a friend ofyours?”
Her eyes go wide. “Why?”
“She keeps mentioning and messaging me on Instagram. I think she wants me to repost pictures of her. She’s in your corps,right?”
“Yes. But no, she’s not a friend ofmine.”
“I’ll block herthen.”
She is trying not to smile. “You don’t have to blockher.”
“I’m going to block her. She’sannoying.”
She is no longer trying not to smile. “Yes. Sheis.”
