Page 43 of Cocky Nerd
I guessI fell asleep while he was in the bathroom, because I wake up in the middle of the night, the room is dark, and John is lying like a corpse beside me, we are both under the covers. There is a big bottle of water and a glass on my bedside table. I lift myself up and twist around to look at him. So innocent, so still. “What did you do to me?” I whisper. He doesn’t stir. He probably took a melatonin. Or he’s exhausted from doing the equivalent of an Iron Man triathlon on my body. Bless his sexy nerd heart. I kiss his back and turn to face the other way, otherwise I’d probably just grab his cock and beg him to do it all again. Probably not in the ancient Taoist book of sextips.
When I wakeup again there is sunlight creeping in around the edges of the blackout curtains, and Johnny is gone. I don’t know how self-confident or self-reliant you have to be in order to not feel abandoned when you wake up alone in bed after having sex with a man, but I guess I’m not there yet. No matter how incredible he was last night, it still feels wrong that he didn’t wake me up to say goodbye, even though he probably believed he was beingthoughtful.
There are now two big bottles of water by the bed, a bottle of Vitamin C supplements, and a note that says:Morning, beautiful sleepyhead. Drink both bottles of water, take Vit C and order as much room service as you want. Or if you’re up early enough you should try the breakfast in the restaurant downstairs it’s great. Mrs. Chen will call you on your cell phone about shopping later—don’t worry about roaming charges I’ll pay your phone bill. I’ll see you before dinner. Thank you for last night —JB
His handwriting is just as messy as it always was. He writes so quickly. I always gave him a hard time about it. From now on, I may have a hard time giving him a hard time about anything. Unless he doesn’t go to town on me again. I know this is a business trip, but I would probably threaten to throw him out this hotel window if he doesn’t givemethebusiness.
We didn’t just have sex with each other for the first time last night, we split the atom. The world has changed. It is more dangerous but also filled with possibilities that we don’t understandyet.
Or maybe I’ve just never been fucked properlybefore.
I imagine this is what it would have been like to see Martha Graham dance in her time. You think you know what it means to move the body to music, and thenblammo, a revolution, and the body can show the world what it means to behuman.
I findan email from him when I check on my iPad. He has sent me an attachment with a PDF of a scanned book about ancient Taoist sexology.If you’re interested in learning more…is all hewrote.
Iam.
Ido.
