Page 4 of Cocky Nerd
Did you always have such long thick eyelashes?“No. If he was in the Bay Area and didn’t see me I’ll kill him.” Nathan lives in Chicago, and claims to be allergic to the air in the WestCoast.
“He wasn’t, we were both in New York on business. I’m sure he’d let you know if he were in town. He seems quite fond ofyou.”
There’s no smirk or irony in his voice. He genuinely thinks I need to be told by him that my overprotective older brother is quite fond of me. What a weirdo. Or is it sweet? I can’t tell with him. I’m going withweird.
“So did Nathan tell you I workhere?”
I know he heard me, but answering other people’s questions when they ask them has never been a high priority for him. “Question: Do you have a validpassport?”
Question: have your lips always been so full?I blink, trying to stop staring at his well-formed mouth. All my life, that mouth has merely been a hole that annoying words came out of. Now I have to will myself not to imagine what it would feel like to be kissed all over with it. I need to get laid. I need to go to the gym and work out hard. This is a ridiculous reaction to be having to the biggest nerd I’ve ever known. My whole body shivers. I snap out of it. He’s still grinning at me. His nostrils are flaring. “Yes. Of course. I always have a valid passport handy in case I get asked to dance with the BolshoiBallet.”
“Has thathappened?”
“Not yet,” I say, fingers crossed. He still takes words at face value. It’s comforting. “Why on earth would youask?”
“You’ll see. I’ll have a Caesar Salad with as little garlic powder as possible, an iced tea with no sugar or fruit flavors, and a hot blackcoffee.”
“Okay. That’s it?”You’re not going to ask me how I am, youfreak?
“For now. When do you get off? Threeo’clock?”
“Orso.”
“I’ll wait for you. If you don’t have plans right afterwards, there’s something I’d like to discuss withyou.”
“Is everythingalright?”
He has already disappeared into his phone and back up his own asshole. “What? Yes. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to talk to you aboutthings.”
“Things. Well, I look forward to that then. Be right back with yourorder.”
He nods and stares at his phone, pulls an iPad out of his leather messengerbag.
I retreat to the kitchen in a daze. Franklin followsme.
“I hate you,” says Franklin. “Even the back of his head is sexy, look at that. What did he say? Tell me everything. He wasn’t mean, was he? His smile is gorgeous. Fuck me silly and call me Daddy, who ishe?”
How canI explain what it’s like to see John Brandt and then to experience having an actual conversation withhim?
It’s like getting into a beautiful brand new top of the line shiny black BMW and then as soon as you’re strapped in you realize that it will only playRock Me Amadeusover and over again and you can’t turn it off or turn down thevolume.
It’s like going up to the cutest Labrador puppy in the park and suddenly it barks, humps and pees all over yourleg.
It’s like diving into the most beautiful crystal clear Caribbean-blue pool and being assaulted with ice-cold water and the sting ofchlorine.
It’s like being served a gourmet meal on the house at a Michelin 3-star restaurant and then finding out you’re allergic to every singleingredient.
He is quite possibly a high-functioning sociopath trapped in the body of a male model. Or he may be an extremely low-functioning ladies’ man trapped in the brain of a nerd. Either way, he has driven me crazy for as long as I can remember, and it seems I can’t getenough.
Remember that listof attributes I possess that are necessary to surviving the life of a ballet dancer? I firmly believe that they’re also the reason I’ve managed to put up with Johnny Brandt without punching him in the face or setting my own hair on fire. Sofar.
