Page 15 of Cocky Nerd
“I am happy,” he says, smiling. “You should give my sister a call,” he says, without signaling a change ofsubject.
I choke on my risotto. “Really?”
He is watching my reaction. I wipe my mouth with a napkin. I think my teeth arechattering.
“Yeah, I mean, I know you’re busy. But I worry about her out there on herown.”
“I thought she had aroommate.”
“She does, but I mean, she…You know, she’s so free-spirited, Oly is, and Ijust…”
Something about his expression makes me sick to my stomach all of a sudden. “Did somethinghappen?”
“No, no. Not really. My Mom just mentioned that she was doing some modeling gig with a photographer, you know, and he was…unprofessional. She got out of there okay, but I guess it spookedher.”
My hands are balled up into fists on my lap. My ears feel hot. I have no idea who this photographer is, but if he were in front of me right now, he would be the first person I’ve ever kicked the shit out of, and I would feel so good aboutit.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say, carefully. “What can Ido?”
He polishes off his bourbon, and looks at me for a long time, before saying: “Just let her know that you’re there for her, I guess. As a friend of the family, you know. So it doesn’t feel like such a bigcity.”
“Of course. I’m sorry I haven’t done that yet—I didn’t thinkyou’d…”
“I never told you to stay away fromher.”
“Right, no, I guess…” I feel my cheeks getting warm, and I can’t stop from laughing nervously. “You’re just such an overprotective dick about her with most guys, I figured I should keep mydistance.”
“Why would that be?” He leans forward again, hunched over as he squints up at me. He has watched too many mafia movies. “You feel guilty orsomething?”
“Course not, I have nothing to feel guilty about. Just saying you’re an overprotective dick about her and I’d rather not deal withit.”
He seems satisfied with that explanation, so I feel comfortable breathing again. He hails the waitress and asks for more wine and bourbon. He moves on from the subject of his sister to that of his own business deals. I can have this conversation in my sleep, so I let my mind go toOlivia.
She has been living within driving distance of my house for over a year now. Not that I would have had much time to visit her, but now that I’ve got the green light from Monty, I need to make the best of this opportunity and think carefully about how to approachthis.
I can’t honestly say that I’ve thought about her every day over the past couple of years since I saw her dance in Pittsburgh, or since I saw her dance with the Bay Area Ballet last fall, but she’s like an all-time favorite song that passes through my consciousness on a regular basis, even when I don’t purposefully stop to listen. I smile and savor the thought of her. Whenever I hear a piece of music that stirs me, I wonder how it would affect her, how her body would move to it. Of course, she makes regular appearances in my fantasies—that goes without saying. But I’ve felt good, just knowing that she’s out there, and that one day we’ll be togetheragain.
I guess I just didn’t expect one day to come sosoon.
I’m right in the middle of launching a foundation and I’m at a critical juncture with my food tech play. The timing isn’t ideal. But I’ll make itideal.
Suddenly I feel a little nervous about seeing her in person. This young woman who was just a toddler when we first met, who more than once put rubber snakes in my sleeping bag when I slept over at their house in an attempt to scare the piss out of me. But I will apply my no-fail entrepreneurial spirit to winning her over. Every success story in Silicon Valley begins with a nerd who never believed for a second that the thing he was creating wasn’tpossible.
I knowthat the fact that we’ve known each other since childhood is both a blessing and a curse. She feels comfortable with me, and that’s good. I understand things about her that other men don’t, and that’s good. But one of the things I understand is that she will always think of me as Johnny B. Nerdballs, and that’s notgreat.
It’s a hurdle,not a brickwall.
I’mready to make a run at it and take theleap.
