Page 12 of Cocky Nerd
I shake my head, though my nether region is all tingly and damp. “You do realize my brother would have punched you in the throat by now if he werehere.”
“I think that would have been true up until a while ago, but notnow.”
“Oh really? Does he know about thisproposition?”
“He does not and he will not. But he did suggest that I get in touch withyou.”
“I’m pretty sure this is not what he had inmind.”
“He trusts me. I think you’re the one he doesn’ttrust.”
He may be right. “Uh, there’s nothing in here aboutsex.”
“Correct. Due to the nature of my schedule and work commitments I can’t commit to a particular number of times that I’ll be free to have sex withyou.”
“Hah! Right. I meant that I want it in writing that I don’thaveto have sex withyou.”
He looks genuinely confounded by thisstatement.
“Let me clarify, in language that you might comprehend: Due to the potentially intimate nature of this arrangement, I would prefer to include a term in this agreement that protects me from being required to have sex with you simply because you’re basically paying me to pretend to be yourgirlfriend.”
He stares at me for about ten seconds, his brow furrowed (which I now consider his O Face because that’s what his face looks like whenever he looks at Olivia Montgomery the Confoundrix). Then he starts laughing. I wish he didn’t have such pretty blue eyes and perfect teeth, because I really want to punch him when he laughs at me like that, but I also don’t want to mess up that thing on the front of his head that I’ll have to look at every day for amonth.
He stands up, crosses his arms and steps towards me, blue eyes still smiling. He bites his lower lip, then says: “Olivia, I hope you know that above all else, I am still your brother’s oldest friend. It’s going to be difficult enough navigating my friendship with him while we progress through this coming month, but at the very least let me say that I do care about you and have no intention of putting you in any position that you aren’t comfortable with.” He takes a breath, and as he does, his eyes lower from my eyes down my torso and back up to my mouth before he licks his lips and continues. “To be clear, Olivia: If you and I ever fuck each other, it will be consensual…” His voice has gotten huskier. He leans down and lowers his voice, I feel his breath in my ear: “And you will enjoy it. But no matter how good it is, no matter how much you want it, no matter how beautiful you are or how hard my cock gets every time you open that sassy mouth of yours, or how many times I might think about fucking the living daylights out of you on any given day, I am not going to be able to fuck you non-stop every day for thirty days. That’s why it’s not a negotiable term.Understand?”
Holyshit.
He grabs both of my arms as I fall forwards towards him, because I ACTUALLY GET LIGHT-HEADED AND MY LEGS TURN TOJELLY.
“Youokay?”
“What?Yes.”
Holy. Shit. I just lost my balance while standing still. Me. A professional ballerina. Did I just swoon? Is that what swooning is?Because of Johnny Fucking Brandt? Because ofwords?
He loosens his grip, reminding me that he’s still holding me up. I pull away from him and straighten myself up. “I’m fine. And yes, Iunderstand.”
Where’s the fucking pen so I can sign thisthing?
As if reading my mind, Johnny Fucking Brandt reaches for the pen that’s on the table right in front of me and holds it up for me. I swipe it from him and sign the damncontract.
“Excellent,” he says. “I’ll scan it and give you a copy on a USB drive when I see you next. Oh, there’s an investor who’ll be in town tomorrow and I’m having dinner with him and his wife here in the city. I’d like you to join me for that. If you’refree.”
“Yeah, I work the lunch shift tomorrow, sosure.”
“I’ll need your passport so my assistant can get you a rush visa for China. Can I see your drivers license? I can just take a picture of it and email it to him. Sanjay will be calling you to get more information when he’s filling out the application form. He’s…not super comfortable talking to girls, so go easy onhim.”
“I’ll do my best. But I don’t have a drivers license. You can take a picture of my California identificationcard.”
He wrinkles his brow and scratches his head. “Okay. I don’t have time to address this issue rightnow.”
“Great.”Asshole.I go into my bedroom to get my sadly underused passport from my bedsidetable.
“Do you by any chance have an extra passportphoto?”
“I doubtit.”
“That’s unfortunate.” He gives me a fifty-dollar bill from his wallet. “You’ll need to get a passport photo taken this afternoon and then my assistant will send a courier to pick itup.”
