Page 3 of Every Inch of You
“You think I’mfat.”
“No! Not fat—I just want you to get healthyagain.”
She totally thought I was fat. I wasn’t. I just couldn’t fit into my favorite clothes anymore. I had to size up my jeans a month and a half after the ex left, and once again around Valentine’s Day. I mean, it’s not like I was Jabba the Hut. I was just growing and wasn’t as toned as I used to be. I was over 25 years old now—it was the natural progression of a woman’s body to become more rounded…after eating so many baked goods. “You think I’m fat because the last time you saw me I wore my super skinny jeans, which was a mistake. I was bloated. I look fine if I wear the right sizedclothes!”
“I’m not saying you’re fat. You’rejust…”
“It’s just the angle I’m holding the phone—and the lighting—here look.” I held the phone up as far as my arm could reach above my head and looked up at her, turning my head to the side, sucking in my cheeks like Zoolander. “Better,right?”
“Viv. I love you. You’re gorgeous. You’ll always be gorgeous. I don’t think you’re fat. I’m just worried that you’redepressed.”
Since when did staying home every night to drink red wine and eat pie make a person depressed?“I am so not depressed. I’m just spending more time with Justin Timberlake. He has one less person in his life now—I don’t want him to getlonely.”
“It’s been three months, honey. You need to moveon.”
“Oh I’ve moved on. I’ve painted every room pink. I rearranged all the furniture that he didn’t take. I got rid of everything he ever gave me.”Except the shame, humiliation and suppressedrage.
Aubrey took a deep breath and took a sip from her bottled water before saying: “He’s going to be one of Eric’sgroomsmen.”
Right.I couldn’t believe I didn’t think of that as soon as she told me about the wedding. I met my ex through Eric. “Well,” I said. “That’s three months from now. A lot can happen in three months. I mean, we could all be dead by then! Don’t worry aboutit.”
She took another sip of water and another deep breath. “He’ll be at the wedding with hisfiancée.”
What?
WHAT?!
“What?”
“He’sengaged.”
“ToSlutface?”
“To the woman he dumped you for,yes.”
Wow. Connor Devlin was engaged to Slutface. I did not see that coming. I thought for sure that Connor would either realize what a stupid idiot he was for leaving me for her, or he’d realize what a stupid idiot she was for making him cheat with her while he was still living with me, or that they would have murdered each other by now because they’re both terrible stupid asshole idiots. But I guess that meant they were perfect for each other. Good for them.A toast to the terrible stupid asshole idiots and their terrible stupid idiot assholelove.
I emptied the rest of the wine bottle—directly into mymouth.
“Are you…okay?” I’d momentarily forgotten that I was FaceTiming with Aubrey. I’d dropped my phone into mylap.
“Oh hey!” I put the wine bottle back down on the coffee table and held up the phone, because I knew she’d just seen me from the worst possible angle. “Hi. I’m totally fine. I’m glad I heard it from you first. Thankyou.”
“Are you…sure you’refine?”
“Yes! Moving on. Let’s talk about you. You’re getting married! Mom and Dad must be so excited. Oh my God. Tell me how Eric proposed! Did you tell me already? You didn’t, did you? Tell meeverything!”
She told me every detail of Eric’s marvelous proposal but I didn’t hear any of it because I was concentrating on moving super slowly so she couldn’t tell that I was opening up another bottle ofwine.
She also may have said something about me joining a gym, so I could fit into the dress, but I’m pretty sure she waskidding.
