Page 10 of The Flirtation
“He’s your best friend,” she went on. “Why are you so afraid of being in the same room ashim?”
“Well, it’s complicated. We just get along sowell.”
“Uh huh.” I was acutely aware that my sister was urinating while we discussed this, and that she was simultaneously tidying up the magazines and books around the toilet with her freehand.
“And he’s ridiculously handsome and funny and he has an amazing Englishaccent.”
“And you’re desperately in love withhim.”
“Obviously I am not in love—it’s strictly business.” I grabbed the small, unopened box of condoms from my bedside table—the one on the other side of the bed from where I kept Mr. Potter. They expired in a month. I figured I might as well pack them, in case somebody else on the island needed them, so they wouldn’t go towaste.
“You’re packing condoms right now, aren’tyou?”
I gasped. “Youwitch!”
She flushed the toilet and put the phone down on top of the vanity while she washed her hands, then took a moment to gargle with mouthwash, wipe down the tiles and tidy up around the sink. The Davis women are natural born multi-taskers.
“You don’t know me!” I sighed very dramatically. “This is the biggest contract of my career, we’re still technically in the post-integration phase, which is critical. I have to stay focused. I can’t getsidetracked.”
She spits out the mouthwash. “Honey, you need to get sidetracked—hard—multiple times. You need to get snogged and shagged and buggered senseless. You gotta seal that transatlantic deal. You need to ride the ol’ Union Jack flagpole if you know what I’m saying. You need to integrate withhispost!”
I had to sit down, I was laughing so hard. “Stop! Oh my God! Seriously, this is not part of the plan. I need to become a manager when I’m twenty-nine so I’m on track to make partner by the time I’m thirty-five, marry a nice, un-ambitious but totally respectable and responsible man when I’m thirty-six and adopt an Asian baby that my husband can stay at home to take care of while I start my ownfirm.”
“Fantasy.”
“Also he’ll be a really good cook and excellent lover and have a trust fund while still being very down-to-earth. Also I will magically maintain the same weight throughout my entire life without ever having toexercise!”
“I know you’re saying a bunch of words that mean a lot to you, but all I’m hearing is ‘blah blah blah I need to have sexual intercourse with an Englishman and also get alife.’”
“Yeah you know, one day I do hope to shag an Englishman, one in particular, well two in particular, including 2003 Jude Law, but I don’t have the time or the emotional bandwidth to deal with it at this particular point in my life. Maybe I can have a hot fling with Luke after I’ve made partner, right before I meet the man I will marry! Yes, I can definitely squeeze thatin.”
“I am so sad for you right now. You should take that red dress you wore to that fundraiser lastsummer!”
I sucked in my breath. “I can’t take that! I look way too good in it! It’s way too sexy!” I went to the closet, pulled out the red dress and packed it into the suitcase, along with some strappy heels to go with them. “My body hasn’t been exposed to sunshine since we went to Florida with Mom. My skin is practically transparent.” I found a hot pink maxi dress in a dark corner of my closet and tossed it into the suitcase. It seemed like the kind of thing one would wear in theBahamas.
“Well, Luke’s from England, he’s used to paleskin.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t look all that pale to me, but maybe it’s just goodlighting.”
“He probably goes to Greece for the weekend orsomething.”
“I wouldn’t really know, we don’t talk about specifics when it comes to our personallives.”
“Oh good that means you’ll have something new to talk about while you’reshagging.”
“Please. It is a work trip. Besides, we might not even get along in person—and also it doesn’t even matter because it’s a worktrip.”
“Your sex life needswork.”
“Stop. I shouldn’t even be discussing this withyou.”
“You should discuss how his penis works! It’s time for him to FaceTime with yourvagina.”
I snort-laughed, and then suddenly frozeup.
“What is happening? Did FaceTime freeze or didyou?”
“Nothing. No. I’m fine. I just don’t think I’m emotionally prepared to deal with him in a tropical non-businessenvironment.”
