Page 111 of The Sovereign: Part One
“Notallthe time,” I interjected.“It’s quite rare, actually.”
Roan scoffed, the same clipped, irritated sound he often aimed at his sister when he’d had enough.Dismissive.Defensive.A clear signal that he wasn’t interested in hearing another word.
His expression crumbled as he reached for Bellam.“Please, if you’d just—”
“Roan,no.”She put more distance between them.“I said no, and I meant it.”
Before he could speak again, Bellam turned sharply and disappeared into the crowd.Her shoulders curved inward, head bowed, as she threaded through the sea of guests.She moved quickly, almost furtively, as if hoping no one would notice her sudden departure after such an achingly public display of emotion in the center of the pavilion.
“Bellam!”I called after her, but she didn’t slow.The music, the laughter, the sea of shimmering fabric—all of it closed behind her, and then she was gone.
“I’ll go,” Roan said, already angling to follow.
I reached out, stopping him with a firm hand to his arm.“Roan,don’t.You need to give her space.”
He turned to me, eyes burning, voice thick with desperation.“Isara… we’re running out of time.I’m going to lose her.”
Maxim rested a comforting hand on Roan’s shoulder.“I know it feels urgent.And you’re not wrong.But asking Bellam to walk away from everything she’s ever known… that’s not a decision you can make for her.If you love her, truly love her, you have to give her the space to choose.However much time she has left, the choice has to be hers.”
Roan looked between us, his composure visibly fracturing.“What do I do, Is?Tell me what to do.”He rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.“I know I sound mad… maybe I am.And I know what Sovereign might say, those who romanticize a life like mine.But I’ve lived it, and I can tell you it’s hollow.”He swept his hand toward the floating lights, the guests, the performers, the spectacle.“These things, the Vanguard, they’re void of substance and serve no honorable end.The parties grow more elaborate, more excessive until they border on the absurd.And for what?”he pleaded.“It’s never enough, it willneverbe enough because they’remissing the point, Is!And even worse, they don’t know it, they don’t understand they can never fill the void inside them with manufactured magic.Panem et circenses!Bread and circuses!”he cried, his expression crumbling for just a moment before gathering himself.
He continued, “Auren have purpose.They live in a way where every action, every laugh and hug, every sunrise, every meal means something.Hyperion Proper will never have that.”He paused.“Except for Bellam.”He pointed to the space where she disappeared behind the fire and ice.“Bellammatters.But we can’t exist together here.”
I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come.
“You’re not mad,” Maxim said, his voice gentle.“Isara and I met not long after you and Bellam, and I’ve already completely fallen for her.”
Roan’s head bobbed in a desperate nod.“Then you understand.This isn’t infatuation, or timing, or convenience.I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.And I know what that sounds like, coming from someone like me.”His voice cracked.“I’ve always been given whatever I desired.Everything.Except this.And if I lose her, if she walks away because I didn’t fight hard enough, I won’t survive it.Not because she’s the one thing I can’t have, but because I’ve recognized she’s the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted.No, it’s need.Ineedher.I do, Isara.I love her.You have to believe me.”His eyes glossed over, and he grabbed his knees.
“I believe you,” I said, touching his back.
Maxim’s tone was nothing but sincere.“It’s obvious you love her.But, Roan, you have to respect Bellam’s hesitation.Hyperion isn’t perfect, but it’s structured.Familiar.You’re asking her to trade a life of curated comfort for one of uncertainty, of living off the land when she’s grown up having every meal appear with a simple command.Even if she loves you, would she be truly happy there?”
Roan stood still, silent.Then, with quiet conviction, “I’d spend every day making sure she was.”
Maxim nodded once and gestured toward the direction Bellam had gone.“Then go.Tell her that.”
Roan hesitated.
“And Roan,” I said, grabbing his jacket.“Just tell her the truth.Not some polished line from a passage you memorized from an old world novel.She doesn’t need poetry.She needsyou.Honest and flawed and real.”
He looked at me, eyes shining, then kissed my cheek with a quick, trembling press and turned away.
Maxim slipped an arm around me as I exhaled and leaned into his chest.
“This is bad,” I said, my voice barely audible over the music pulsing from the other side of the garden.
“Is it?”
“He’s going to wake up one day soon and realize he can’t leave his name behind.He’s going to remember who he is, his responsibilities to his family, and love won’t be enough.And when that happens”—I swallowed hard—“he’ll break her heart.”
Maxim’s arms tightened around me.“We’ll speak to Joss.Just in case.”
I nodded, dreading the conversation.“What do I tell Lourdes?”
“There’s nothing to tell yet,” Maxim said gently.“Not until there is.”
I sighed against him.“This isn’t going to end well.There are too many pieces, and none of them fit.”
