Page 26 of Prudence
Anyway, I doubted Derek even thought of that day anymore. He’d moved on and gotten married to someone else a few years later. As far I’d heard, they were now divorced and shared custody of their two kids. I knew a little about sharing custody since my fifteen-year-old daughter divided her time between her dad, who was still living in London, and me.
With this move back to Ireland, she’d be spending her summers and all other school holidays with him. It was the fairest arrangement we could come up with since Colin’s work schedule as a surgeon didn’t allow for him to look after our daughter full-time.
My decision to move home was mostly because my parents were getting older, both now in their early seventies, and I wanted to be close to them. I’d also come to a point of burnout in my career as a radiologist, and I found myself needing a change. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being at the Royal Marsden Hospital for the last decade and would miss my colleagues and patients immensely, but the time had come to go home. London had never truly felt that way to me. Ireland had always called on me to return, and that call had become louder and more pressing as the years had worn on.
I’d been offered a position at UCD at their School of Medicine to teach the radiography programme. The lecturerwhose post I was filling would be retiring come summer, so I wouldn’t be taking up my new position until September. It was currently April, which gave Deirdre and I six months to settle into our new life. I was looking forward to spending time together and mostly just taking a moment to breathe after almost two decades of non-stop moving forward.
Aunt Nell had pleaded with me to remain in London, citing she’d miss us. I was going to miss her, too, but I needed the change. It had been a long time coming. And besides, my aunt was still as busy as ever, her career as vibrant and successful as it had been eighteen years ago. She no longer divided her time between Ireland and the UK and had sold her Dublin house years ago, but she still visited often. It wasn’t like we were never going to see one another.
After smoothing a hand over my dark red dress and tugging at my thin cardigan to make sure it was sitting evenly over my shoulders, I lifted my hand and knocked. The sounds of music and people talking came from within.
The door opened, and an older man appeared, causing me to stiffen. He’d aged, his hair, which was once salt and pepper, was now fully grey, and his face wrinkled by time. Padraig Balfe, the man who’d broken Aunt Nell’s heart into a million pieces, stood before me. Whenever I’d hung out here as a teenager, I’d always avoided Padraig. I hadn’t wanted to interact with him due to his history with Nell. But that was so long ago. Once I’d moved to London, Nell had barely brought him up again, and the memory of what he’d done to her had faded from my mind. It was hard to summon much dislike when he smiled at me and greeted warmly, “Hello!”
“Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me? I’m Milly O’Shea, Nuala’s old friend.”
His eyes brightened. “Ah yes, Milly. My daughter mentioned you’d moved home recently. It’s our pleasure to have you. Please, come in.”
I stepped into the house, and then his wife appeared. Nuala’s mother, Jo, was celebrating her sixty-fifth birthday, but she didn’t look a day over fifty-five. Her blonde, highlighted hair reached her shoulders, her slim body encased in a gorgeous peach-coloured dress.
“Milly, my goodness, look at you!” she exclaimed. Unlike her husband, Jo had spent more time with me back in the day. It made sense that she remembered me. I’d aged like any normal thirty-seven-year-old, but I took good care of myself, exercised, and ate healthily. I might not look a decade younger like she did, but I wasn’t haggard either, despite my demanding profession.
“Hello, Jo,” I greeted. “Happy birthday.” I handed her the bottle of wine, and she beamed at me, pulling me into a hug. Before I knew it, I was being ushered into the expansive living room, where lots of people were gathered and enjoying the party.
“Milly!” someone called, and I turned to find Nuala hurrying towards me. Her cousin, Charli, who’d since moved to Ireland and was now married to Rhys, was with her. Charli was also pregnant, and though it had never been my area of expertise, I could tell she was about seven months along. It warmed my heart to think she and Rhys had found love again after that summer she’d come to visit. Even back then, they’d barely been able to take their eyes off one another. It made me think of what Derek and I had once had, the intensity of first love and how exhilarating yet painful it could be.
Speaking of Derek, he didn’t seem to be in attendance. I couldn’t tell if I were relieved or disappointed. I spotted his brother, Tristan, on the other side of the room amiably chatting with a group of people, but no Derek. My hands trembled atthe thought of seeing him. It was his mother’s party, so he was bound to turn up sooner or later. If he did show, I planned to be cordial. Honestly, I was embarrassed that I still felt the pain of our long-ago separation. After all, I’d been the one to reject him. If anyone deserved to feel sore about it, it was Derek. But he was a grown man now, and I was likely a faint, long forgotten memory.
“Nuala, you look amazing,” I said as she moved in for a hug.
“You, too,” she replied with a smile, and I turned to Charli.
“And, Charli, you look great, too.”
“That’s very kind of you to say,” the American said with a wry grin. “Especially when I feel like an overstuffed sausage right now.”
“I remember the feeling,” I responded with a chuckle.
“Right, you have a daughter. What’s her name?”
“Deirdre. She’s fifteen.”
“Oh, wow,” Charli exclaimed, and I flushed slightly. Getting pregnant at twenty-one hadnotbeen in the plan, but I wouldn’t give Deirdre up for the world. As far as I was concerned, I was always destined to be her mother. I’d been living with Aunt Nell when I got pregnant, and it felt like karma somehow. I’d pushed Derek away due to her fears of me having an unplanned pregnancy, but it had happened anyway. The only difference was Nell had been the one to set me up with Colin. He was the son of a friend of hers, and she absolutely adored him. She even forked out for a live-in nanny when Deirdre was little so I could continue with my education. In her mind, Colin and I were perfectly matched, but she’d been dead wrong on that front.
“Yeah,” I said with a quiet laugh. “I’d just turned twenty-two when she was born.”
“Man, that was rude. I didn’t mean—”
I reached out to touch her arm. “It’s fine, really. It’s not a sore subject or anything.”
“Okay, well, let’s get you a drink, shall we?” Nuala suggested. “Then we can have that long overdue catch up.”
“Sounds perfect,” I replied and followed her into the kitchen.
About three glasses of wine later, I started to relax. I spent over an hour talking with Nuala and Charli, getting caught up on each other’s lives, and the two women put me at ease. It had been ages since I’d last gone to a party, but I was glad I’d come. There was a giant, four-tiered cake with a big “65”-shaped candle on top. Nuala informed me it was red velvet, her mam’s favourite flavour, and I was looking forward to a slice.
I decided glass number four would be my last and went in search of a refill when tingles suddenly prickled at the back of my neck.Derek. I knew it was him before I even turned around to confirm it. I’d always been hyperaware of his presence, somehow sensed it whenever he walked into a room.
I’d just filled my glass when I turned and saw him. Back when we were teenagers, he had an endless supply of smiles to send my way, but that was no longer the case. He wasgloweringat me. I swear it was like being caught in the stare of an angry tiger. He didn’t look anything like the boy I knew, the one whose features I could trace from memory. He’d changed and not in the way I’d expected at all. Sure, he’d aged, his handsome features lined with experience, but he also looked … well, tired was one word for it.
