Page 24 of Prudence
I nodded, while at the same time, a part of me felt like arguing that falling in love didn’t necessarily mean I’d end up in the same boat as her. Derek wasn’t his father, and I wasn’t my aunt. Sadly, she was so deep in her past hurt that there didn’t seem to be any convincing her of that.
I retreated to my room, changing out of last night’s clothes before taking a long, hot shower. As the water sluiced down my body, memories of Derek holding me through the night filled my head. His scent in my nose, his hard, strong frame cradling mine. I’d woken up with my head on his chest, his steady heartbeat thudding in my ear while my hands practically groped his muscled stomach. I’d been physically unable to prevent myself from touching him. I’d managed to keep it innocent enough, merely running my fingers through his hair. But that didn’t mean I hadn’t wanted to crawl on top of him, plaster my lips to his and lose myself in the desire that had built over the last year with no outlet.
But there would never be a Derek and me. I’d made my choice over a year ago, and with my future in the balance, I needed to find some resolve and stay on my path.
***
The next morning, he sent a text inviting me to join him for a walk on the beach. I had no other plans, and despite Aunt Nell’s disapproval, I wanted to spend as much time with Derek as I could before I had to leave for London.
The weather was sunny, so I dressed in shorts, sandals and a loose T-shirt, leaving my hair down. Then I grabbed my sunglasses before I headed out to meet Derek. I spotted him in the distance, leaning up against a wall close to the beach as I approached. My heart pounded at the sight of him, and there was no point denying it. I was in love with him, and it was the most devasting feeling to want someone this much.
He could never be mine.
“Hello,” I said, shooting him a shy smile as I reached him.
Derek pushed his sunglasses up to rest on top of his head, his eyes warm as they travelled along my body before pausing on my face. There was something in his demeanour, something thatwasn’t normally there. It took me a moment to pinpoint what it was.
He looked nervous.
“Hey, you,” he murmured, stepping close before pulling me into a hug. In my flat sandals, my face was about level with his shoulder. His familiar cologne tickled my nose, and I sucked in a breath before he released me, his gaze soft.
“How are you feeling? Hangover passed yet?”
I chuckled quietly. “I drank a lot of vodka the other night but not enough to warrant a two-day hangover. Besides, the key to beating it is hydration.”
“Good tip,” Derek smiled, seeming unable to tear his gaze away from me. He fiddled with something in his pocket then exhaled heavily. “Right, let’s get walking, shall we?”
We headed down to the beach and walked in companionable silence for a few minutes, the sounds of the shore, birds cawing and other beach goers surrounding us. After a while, we left the swimmers and sunbathers behind as we reached the more deserted part of the strand.
“So, I wanted to ask you something,” Derek began, the nervousness I noticed when I arrived returning. There was nobody else around as we strolled along the hot sand.
He stopped walking and moved to stand in front of me. My breath caught when he removed my sunglasses, his fingertips brushing my ear before he slid them off and gently placed them in the pocket of my shorts. Then he took both my hands in his, the warmth of his palms making my heart thrum.
“When you told me about going to London, I felt this intense panic at the thought of you not being here anymore, and that’s not a normal way to react to a friend telling you they’re moving away,” he began, and I blinked, taken aback by his confession.
“It solidified something I’ve known for a long time,” he went on, his voice a low rumble, and my heart pounded even harder.
“Something you’ve known?” I questioned.
His look was devastating, like he was about to profess a secret that would doom him forever. “I’m in love with you, Milly,” he said, and time froze.
I stood there, my hands in his, eyelids fluttering as I tried to comprehend the words he’d just spoken. It was a simple statement, and yet, it was so unexpected that it caused my brain to get stuck in a loop, like a skipping record, unable to quit repeating the same nonsensical noise.
“Derek,” I managed at last, my throat dry and scratchy.
“You’re my best friend,” he said, almost sadly. “But I want to be more than your friend. I’ve wanted it for a long time, and if what I suspect is true, I think you might feel the same way.”
I did. My goodness, I did. Derek possessed my entire heart. He might as well be holding it in his hand as he stood before me.
“It’s not that easy,” I practically whispered. “I’m moving to London.”
“Milly, don’t you understand? I’m fucking in love with you. I adore you. I’d follow you to the ends of this earth if you asked me to.”
Suddenly, emotion swelled behind my eyes. This boy, honestly, I didn’t deserve him.
“You’d move to London for me?”
“I’d move mountains for you,” he breathed, chest rising and falling as he gazed down at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes I could hardly stand it.
